Skip to main content

How to love and be happy

The scent of March is synonymous with spring, flowers that bloom and the warmth of the sun. But I am still cocooned in blankets and sweaters. The fragrance of spring has not reached me yet. In the last two months, it feels as though a lifetime has passed by. So many changes are unfolding around me, new situations surface, sometimes there are several new challenges too, but I don't find myself caught in a fog of confusion. I am watching everything, like kids watch clouds pass by, and letting it go. [READ: Lost someone you loved?] 

                              [Photo by Petra Lespuchová on Reshot]

This is like being in a dreamy state - where you watch everything but you don't get carried away into reacting to it. 

Remember, to truly love, you need to step out of your ego, the feeling of "mine" and 'I' and that the whole world has to revolve around you.

Only then do you learn to truly love.

 So, how did my inner journey begin? Let me share this with you. [READ: Crossing forty is FUN!] 

1. Go deep within the heart, step back and become a silent witness 
A daily meditation practice brings clarity, peace and awareness to my overall experience of life. As I breathe in deeply and go deep within my heart, I become a silent witness and I watch my choices play out, my actions and reactions, and as I watch I know instantly that if I had the 'meditation' wisdom to support me in that exact moment of reacting, I may have chosen differently. Gradually, the first sign of meditation altering one's behavior is that one tends to be more serene, poised and compassionate. Most importantly, meditation does wonders with your relationships with yourself and others. Remember, it is a conscious choice you make every day that defines how you have benefited from meditation.

                         FOLLOW MY BOARDS ON PINTEREST

2. Good books are your best friend, don't ever let go!
In school, I was the 'reading girl'. Other girls loved playing and I loved reading, not even making an effort to join a game because I just couldn't bring myself to tear away from a book. After all, you have to keep aside your books to play hopscotch, right? No way! And the best part is that I totally loved the solitude that books gave me. Through the books I read, I became familiar with continents that I had seen only on the map. I plunged straight into the lives of the characters that inhabited these complex continents and I savored adventures and cried at their break ups as though it was my heart that was being broken. Believe me, on a day when you feel angry or lonely or hurt or wounded, the best company is not Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp or social media. It's a good book. Maybe you can add a piping cup of hot chocolate to this, along with a slice of carrot cake topped with a rich, creamy frosting.

3. Be True and Sincere to Yourself
Increasingly, we live in a world where we try to emulate or outdo others. 
I want a better dress than X. 
I want a better school for my kid than Z. 
I want a better car than Y. 
I want a better car than X,Y and Z.
I want to throw a better party than any of my family members or friends.
How about setting a truly better benchmark for self-improvement?
I want to be a better human being than I was yesterday.


Are you trying to impress someone? 

Or outdo a rival or someone you dislike?

Hit the 'Pause' button. Remind yourself to be true to yourself first. 

Let your choices be your own, not a result of competing with X, Y or Z. 

Result? Peace and harmony within. A happier YOU!

The lives of great men and women teach us that they achieved greatness by stepping fully into being true to themselves. And it takes great courage to do it.

Before I wrap up my first blog post of the month, I want to leave you with a meaningful quote from Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni's "The Forest of Enchantments", a beautiful retelling of the Ramayana from Sita's perspective, 

"There are no easy answers...Especially when we want to please the one we love. That same love clouds our eyes and doesn't allow us to see what's right in front of you.


Now it's your turn! 

What's your secret to be happy? I would love to hear from you.

Comments

Glad to hear this, thanks Ajitha.
Vishnu said…
In a world filled with comparisons, I appreciate the call to go within and be better than we were yesterday! Instead of external comparisons, we just need to do better as people than we were the day before. Well done!
Vishnu, I like your reference to the world's obsession with comparisons. Such a gentle, powerful reminder to tune into the inner world. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Most Popular Posts

The Ugly Truth about Caste in Kerala

Many years ago, when I wrote this post on Kerala's caste system, I had not considered that people would start sending in abusive comments about one caste over the other. It baffles me that this is how Indians, all of us, continue to judge each other on account of caste differences.  [ READ: Guru Kripa: Powerful Lessons at the Lotus Feet ] My question is - why do you ABUSE any caste or community? I suggest that you read about the lives of great Masters and their stories - none of them judged anyone on the basis of caste.  You can read the life stories of Sri Adi Shankara Bhagawadpada, Tulsidas, Jnaneshwar, Namadev, Sri Aurobindo, Sri Ramakrishna, Swami Paramahansa Yogananda, Shirdi Sai Baba, and many more Gurus in Sanathana Dharma. NONE of them endorse these caste hierarchies in Bhakti Marga. Assuming that Guru Sampradaya does not appeal to your sensibilities, do read this  new book 'Ants among Elephants' written by Sujatha Gidla, who writes about herself as being born

Book Review: Nan Umrigar's Sounds of Silence, A Bridge Across Two Worlds

The year 1978 was a glorious one for Karl Umrigar – a young man who won many prestigious horse races, including the Indian 2000 Guineas and the Indian Oakes. Finally, Karl Umrigar fulfilled his dream – every jockey’s dream   – to win the Indian Derby. His name remains in the Indian Derby scroll of honour. [READ: Aarti Raheja: Where One is Not a Number and But just at exactly the moment Karl won, he fell from the horse.  A fall that finally saw the country mourn for him when the headlines of the Indian Express read, “The King is Dead.” Karl Umrigar, the young champion and loved by many, was laid to rest on May 3, 1979. Karl Umrigar’s Death: Bridge between Two Worlds You can imagine what Karl’s death did to his family, particularly his mother – Nan Umrigar. She says, “ Nothing could have prepared us for the darkness that descended upon us – nothing! ” While her family tried to pull on with daily routine, Nan Umrigar found herself in such a state of agony and trauma th

How do you light Deepam at home?

How do you light deepam at home? As a child, I loved watching the ritual of my grandmother lighting the deepam or the traditional lamp at home in the evenings. A sense of serenity accompanied her frail figure as she would carefully straighten every wick, dip it into the tiny puddle of oil and light the lamp. As my grandmother would read out the scriptures and chant the prayers, the fragrance of incense sticks and flowers added depth to the experience. In many Hindu homes nowadays, the lighting of the lamp (or the nilavilakku, as Malayalis refer to the traditional lamp in their homes) is not a regular practice. A lot of people have many questions around how to light deepam at home and which oil to use and so on. An important point to keep in mind - Maintain physical cleanliness and hygiene while lighting the lamp. Wear clean clothes while lighting the lamp. Frequently Asked Questions About Lighting Deepam at Home Collating most queries related to how to light the deepam at home, I'v

7 Am Arivu (the Seventh Sense) - Why it is spiritually relevant

7 Am Arivu (the Seventh Sense) is a film that I was desperate to watch for two reasons. One, I am a Suriya fan and I had heard so much about his performance in this movie that I didn't want to settle for watching a CD of it and losing the actual cinematic experience. Second, I had read from various bloggers and their reviews that this film revolves around the story of Bodhidharman, a 16th century prince from Tamil Nadu who had mastered knowledge spanning multiple forms of art, and was sent to China to save the people from evil. Once he goes there, the transformation begins for himself and for the people there and he  goes on to become Damo, the father of Shaolin and Kung Fu and hypnotism and such other mystical yet spiritually relevant forms of mind mastery. 7 Am Arivu Goes Over the Top with the Dravidian Rhetoric In 7 Am Arivu, there has been a lot of controversy created by the fact that nearly every character eulogizes about the importance of being Tamil and yes, the Dravidi

Significance of Gayatri Mantra: Can ladies chant the Gayatri mantra?

Significance of Gayatri Mantra for Women: T he energy sounds that form the base of the Gayatri Mantra are believed to provide a powerful aura of protection to those who chant it regularly.   Now, it always amazes me when I get queries from women asking, ''Can ladies chant the Gayatri mantra?" and I can't help but ask, "Why do you think women can't chant the Gayatri mantra?" [ Must Read: Significance of Surya Arghya ]                    Image Source: Radio Sai on Instagram The next question that comes my way frequently is this, ' 'Can ladies chant the Gayatri mantra during their periods?"  and my answer is the same, "Why can't they chant the Gayatri mantra during their periods?" [ MUST-READ:  Who can chant the Mahamrityunjaya Mantra and what are its benefits? ] Over the years, I can now feel how the energy around me alters my