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How to love and be happy

The scent of March is synonymous with spring, flowers that bloom and the warmth of the sun. But I am still cocooned in blankets and sweaters. The fragrance of spring has not reached me yet. In the last two months, it feels as though a lifetime has passed by. So many changes are unfolding around me, new situations surface, sometimes there are several new challenges too, but I don't find myself caught in a fog of confusion. I am watching everything, like kids watch clouds pass by, and letting it go. [READ: Lost someone you loved?] 

                              [Photo by Petra Lespuchová on Reshot]

This is like being in a dreamy state - where you watch everything but you don't get carried away into reacting to it. 

Remember, to truly love, you need to step out of your ego, the feeling of "mine" and 'I' and that the whole world has to revolve around you.

Only then do you learn to truly love.

 So, how did my inner journey begin? Let me share this with you. [READ: Crossing forty is FUN!] 

1. Go deep within the heart, step back and become a silent witness 
A daily meditation practice brings clarity, peace and awareness to my overall experience of life. As I breathe in deeply and go deep within my heart, I become a silent witness and I watch my choices play out, my actions and reactions, and as I watch I know instantly that if I had the 'meditation' wisdom to support me in that exact moment of reacting, I may have chosen differently. Gradually, the first sign of meditation altering one's behavior is that one tends to be more serene, poised and compassionate. Most importantly, meditation does wonders with your relationships with yourself and others. Remember, it is a conscious choice you make every day that defines how you have benefited from meditation.

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2. Good books are your best friend, don't ever let go!
In school, I was the 'reading girl'. Other girls loved playing and I loved reading, not even making an effort to join a game because I just couldn't bring myself to tear away from a book. After all, you have to keep aside your books to play hopscotch, right? No way! And the best part is that I totally loved the solitude that books gave me. Through the books I read, I became familiar with continents that I had seen only on the map. I plunged straight into the lives of the characters that inhabited these complex continents and I savored adventures and cried at their break ups as though it was my heart that was being broken. Believe me, on a day when you feel angry or lonely or hurt or wounded, the best company is not Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp or social media. It's a good book. Maybe you can add a piping cup of hot chocolate to this, along with a slice of carrot cake topped with a rich, creamy frosting.

3. Be True and Sincere to Yourself
Increasingly, we live in a world where we try to emulate or outdo others. 
I want a better dress than X. 
I want a better school for my kid than Z. 
I want a better car than Y. 
I want a better car than X,Y and Z.
I want to throw a better party than any of my family members or friends.
How about setting a truly better benchmark for self-improvement?
I want to be a better human being than I was yesterday.


Are you trying to impress someone? 

 Or outdo a rival or someone you dislike?

 Hit the 'Pause' button. Remind yourself to be true to yourself first. 

 Let your choices be your own, not a result of competing with X, Y or Z. 

 Result? Peace and harmony within. A happier YOU!

 The lives of great men and women teach us that they achieved greatness by stepping fully into being true to themselves. And it takes great courage to do it.

Before I wrap up my first blog post of the month, I want to leave you with a meaningful quote from Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni's "The Forest of Enchantments", a beautiful retelling of the Ramayana from Sita's perspective, 

"There are no easy answers...Especially when we want to please the one we love. That same love clouds our eyes and doesn't allow us to see what's right in front of you." 

So true. [READ: The Wisest Lesson I learned in 2018 - Learn to Behave]

Now it's your turn! 

What's your secret to be happy? I would love to hear from you.
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Comments

Swapna Raghu Sanand said…
Glad to hear this, thanks Ajitha.
March 26, 2019 at 3:44 AM
Vishnu said…
In a world filled with comparisons, I appreciate the call to go within and be better than we were yesterday! Instead of external comparisons, we just need to do better as people than we were the day before. Well done!
April 22, 2019 at 11:21 AM
Swapna Raghu Sanand said…
Vishnu, I like your reference to the world's obsession with comparisons. Such a gentle, powerful reminder to tune into the inner world. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
April 22, 2019 at 10:32 PM
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