Skip to main content

How to love and be happy

The scent of March is synonymous with spring, flowers that bloom and the warmth of the sun. But I am still cocooned in blankets and sweaters. The fragrance of spring has not reached me yet. In the last two months, it feels as though a lifetime has passed by. So many changes are unfolding around me, new situations surface, sometimes there are several new challenges too, but I don't find myself caught in a fog of confusion. I am watching everything, like kids watch clouds pass by, and letting it go. [READ: Lost someone you loved?] 

                              [Photo by Petra Lespuchová on Reshot]

This is like being in a dreamy state - where you watch everything but you don't get carried away into reacting to it. 

Remember, to truly love, you need to step out of your ego, the feeling of "mine" and 'I' and that the whole world has to revolve around you.

Only then do you learn to truly love.

 So, how did my inner journey begin? Let me share this with you. [READ: Crossing forty is FUN!] 

1. Go deep within the heart, step back and become a silent witness 
A daily meditation practice brings clarity, peace and awareness to my overall experience of life. As I breathe in deeply and go deep within my heart, I become a silent witness and I watch my choices play out, my actions and reactions, and as I watch I know instantly that if I had the 'meditation' wisdom to support me in that exact moment of reacting, I may have chosen differently. Gradually, the first sign of meditation altering one's behavior is that one tends to be more serene, poised and compassionate. Most importantly, meditation does wonders with your relationships with yourself and others. Remember, it is a conscious choice you make every day that defines how you have benefited from meditation.

                         FOLLOW MY BOARDS ON PINTEREST

2. Good books are your best friend, don't ever let go!
In school, I was the 'reading girl'. Other girls loved playing and I loved reading, not even making an effort to join a game because I just couldn't bring myself to tear away from a book. After all, you have to keep aside your books to play hopscotch, right? No way! And the best part is that I totally loved the solitude that books gave me. Through the books I read, I became familiar with continents that I had seen only on the map. I plunged straight into the lives of the characters that inhabited these complex continents and I savored adventures and cried at their break ups as though it was my heart that was being broken. Believe me, on a day when you feel angry or lonely or hurt or wounded, the best company is not Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp or social media. It's a good book. Maybe you can add a piping cup of hot chocolate to this, along with a slice of carrot cake topped with a rich, creamy frosting.

3. Be True and Sincere to Yourself
Increasingly, we live in a world where we try to emulate or outdo others. 
I want a better dress than X. 
I want a better school for my kid than Z. 
I want a better car than Y. 
I want a better car than X,Y and Z.
I want to throw a better party than any of my family members or friends.
How about setting a truly better benchmark for self-improvement?
I want to be a better human being than I was yesterday.


Are you trying to impress someone? 

Or outdo a rival or someone you dislike?

Hit the 'Pause' button. Remind yourself to be true to yourself first. 

Let your choices be your own, not a result of competing with X, Y or Z. 

Result? Peace and harmony within. A happier YOU!

The lives of great men and women teach us that they achieved greatness by stepping fully into being true to themselves. And it takes great courage to do it.

Before I wrap up my first blog post of the month, I want to leave you with a meaningful quote from Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni's "The Forest of Enchantments", a beautiful retelling of the Ramayana from Sita's perspective, 

"There are no easy answers...Especially when we want to please the one we love. That same love clouds our eyes and doesn't allow us to see what's right in front of you.


Now it's your turn! 

What's your secret to be happy? I would love to hear from you.

Comments

Glad to hear this, thanks Ajitha.
Vishnu said…
In a world filled with comparisons, I appreciate the call to go within and be better than we were yesterday! Instead of external comparisons, we just need to do better as people than we were the day before. Well done!
Vishnu, I like your reference to the world's obsession with comparisons. Such a gentle, powerful reminder to tune into the inner world. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Most Popular Posts

The Ugly Truth about Caste in Kerala

Many years ago, when I wrote this post on Kerala's caste system, I had not considered that people would start sending in abusive comments about one caste over the other. It baffles me that this is how Indians, all of us, continue to judge each other on account of caste differences.  [ READ: Guru Kripa: Powerful Lessons at the Lotus Feet ] My question is - why do you ABUSE any caste or community? I suggest that you read about the lives of great Masters and their stories - none of them judged anyone on the basis of caste.  You can read the life stories of Sri Adi Shankara Bhagawadpada, Tulsidas, Jnaneshwar, Namadev, Sri Aurobindo, Sri Ramakrishna, Swami Paramahansa Yogananda, Shirdi Sai Baba, and many more Gurus in Sanathana Dharma. NONE of them endorse these caste hierarchies in Bhakti Marga. Assuming that Guru Sampradaya does not appeal to your sensibilities, do read this  new book 'Ants among Elephants' written by Sujatha Gidla, who writes about herself as being born

How do you light Deepam at home?

How do you light deepam at home? As a child, I loved watching the ritual of my grandmother lighting the deepam or the traditional lamp at home in the evenings. A sense of serenity accompanied her frail figure as she would carefully straighten every wick, dip it into the tiny puddle of oil and light the lamp. As my grandmother would read out the scriptures and chant the prayers, the fragrance of incense sticks and flowers added depth to the experience. In many Hindu homes nowadays, the lighting of the lamp (or the nilavilakku, as Malayalis refer to the traditional lamp in their homes) is not a regular practice. A lot of people have many questions around how to light deepam at home and which oil to use and so on. An important point to keep in mind - Maintain physical cleanliness and hygiene while lighting the lamp. Wear clean clothes while lighting the lamp. Frequently Asked Questions About Lighting Deepam at Home Collating most queries related to how to light the deepam at home, I'v

What is the story of Shivaji? The great son of a great mother called Jijabai

Chhatrapati Shivaji, the great Maratha warrior whose guerrilla warfare tactics are fleetingly mentioned in Indian history textbooks, is increasingly relevant today. A Hindi movie 'Tanhaji' starring Ajay Devgn and Kajol got many of us curious to know more about this warrior. Sadly, we don't seem to have much information in our history textbooks!   [ READ: Significance of Surya Argya  and How do you Light Deepam? ] Source: Anjali Natarajan on Twitter  Shivaji Maharaj: The Great Son of a Great Mother Jijabai The more I read about Shivaji Maharaj,   the more fascinated I am.   I wondered why we have learned so little about this great warrior and his great mother Jijabai, and why public memory has been totally erased from most history books! As a mother, I have always been fascinated by how some of India's greatest and most revered men and women are individuals who were deeply influenced at an early age by their mothers. Bharat is a country that belongs to great mothers who

Saaradhi Malayalam movie review: A watchable film starring Sunny Wayne; but no action, no drama

Saaradhi Malayalam movie review: Watching 'Saaradhi', a Sunny Wayne starrer, got me thinking about life and death. The story revolves around an ambulance driver rushing with a dead body at the back of his vehicle and then getting trapped in an unexpected situation beyond his control. Gradually, the ambulance driver finds himself becoming 'attached' to the dead body. Now, that is the peg of the film which somehow gets lost in the movie altogether! While this film has no comedy scenes, memorable songs, it still kept me alert.                                                   [Source: YouTube] So, my son and I started watching the film and yes, there were several stretches in 'Saaradhi' that were boring.  Firstly, Sunny Wayne was simply not getting into the skin of the protagonist. His timing was definitely off.  Saaradhi Malayalam Movie Review: Timing a key problem In Malayalam movies, timing is everything, and it is what adds punch to every dialog

Malayalam Movie Review: Rani Padmini asks serious questions but fails to deliver a meaningful impact

I like movies that show strong women.  I had great expectations from Aashiq Abu's latest Malayalam movie - Rani Padmini.  The two heroines Manju Warrier and Rima Kallingal demonstrate commendable chemistry despite a poorly paced script and badly written screenplay.  W hile Jinu Joseph is impressive as the racer, there is no chemistry with Manju Warrier. The vibes are sangfroid between the two actors.  The first half of the movie puts you on edge. You keep waiting for a spectacular story but the second half is where the story "begins."  The pace of the film is inconsistent. The 'Ant" story and also the 'paragliding' scenes were stretched to too slow. Then suddenly, the narrative becomes too pacy. Malayalam Movie Review: Rani Padmini Story The story goes like this: Padmini  (starring Manju Warrier)   is a Malayali girl married to a Delhi based racing car driver, whose name is Giri (starring Jinu Joseph). The couple love