Skip to main content

Five ways to take charge of your anger

Anger is a self-destructive tool. Trust me, I know because I have lost my cool and it hasn't helped me in a constructive way. Does anger solve your problems?

If anger solved all the problems in the world, this world would have been a perfect place centuries ago


                                       [
Image by Samuel Silitonga on Pexels.com]
Anger is self-destructive, don't find out the hard way!

Anger is a self-destructive tool, which does not help you to grow. When anger takes hold of you, learn to take a long, deep breath and don't act upon it.
1. Practice absolute silence. Stay away as far and as long as possible from whatever situation has ignited the anger till the mind is calm, still and able to reflect on the core issue more objectively. When the mind is still, when the thoughts are in your control, there is no scope for anger to rule you.

2. Take deep breaths. Inhale and exhale so slowly that you can feel the breath enter and leave your body like a beautiful breeze. Do this for as long as you can and focus on the breath. Thoughts will slowly cease, your mind will become a shining, empty vessel and you may even wonder what made you angry in the first place.

3. Take a walk. Walk, run, skip but do any constructive physical activity that makes you thrash out your anger without hurting anyone.

4. Listen to soothing music. This really works. 

5. Sip a glass of cool water, very very slowly. Concentrate on how it cools your heart, throat and frayed nerves. You will find yourself relaxing, the coolness ebbing away the heat of your anger.
I leave you with this beautiful quote from Bree Despain, The Dark Divine
“Remember Grace, if you let anger into your heart, it will push out your ability to love.” 

Comments

Shilpa Garg said…
Very do-able and practical pointers to control anger! It is better to do these because after a while you regret the words and actions during an angry outburst!
Arun said…
I agree with your thoughts on anger. It is self destructive. From what I understand, anger is caused by unmet expectations or when you perceive that certain individuals are treating you in an unfair manner and your mind wants justice.

This is a very timely post as far as I'm concerned because I had a bout of anger just yesterday. Now I'm not a person with a short temper. I rarely get angry or rather I’m slow to anger. A lot of people who know me don’t even think that I am capable of getting angry!

On the rare occasions that I do get angry, my anger usually lasts for a long time, for hours. Yesterday was one such day. Something got to my nerves and it just blew my fuse. I felt like a raging bull ready to smash everything in its path. A lot of my suppressed anger and bottled up frustrations came out yesterday. It was a terrible experience.

For controlling anger, I'd like to mention a couple of points. I’ve tried these before and they were helpful (though not always):

1. Write it down:

Try and write about your angry outburst. While writing, just write down whatever comes to the mind. Don't edit or proofread the article while writing. After 20-30 minutes of writing, the anger level can come down.

I don’t really know the logic behind this, but I think you end up transferring some of the anger from your head into the laptop.

2) Try and get some sleep:

Sometimes all you need is a good sleep. You wake up feeling better. I guess this works on occasions when the root cause of your anger is exhaustion or an overworked mind.

Kudos for touching upon a very good topic and sorry about my lengthy comment.
Hi Shilpa, Yes, these are do-able and practical pointers. But the problem is that when we are very angry, we seldom have the ability to initiate any of these steps. But if more people did this more frequently, the world would be a better, happier and peaceful place for one self and others as well.
Impressed by two facts that you have stated here: One is the admission of anger. When we get angry and later cool down, we rarely admit even to others (let alone ourselves) that we totally lost our cool. So, I admire you for saying that openly here. I also admire that you have two simple and very effective suggestions to control anger. Thanks for sharing it here. And by the way, the more detailed your comments are, the greater the learning is for all of us who are exploring different ways to take charge of anger. Thank you Arun once again!
Neena Arora said…
Hi Swapna, it was lovely reading this and many other posts on this blog. I am surely going to recommend this blog to my friends for the excellent flow of writing and the wonderful topics chosen by you. Keep writing and continue the flow of excellent blog pieces. Luv Neena
Neena, thank you so much for recommending this blog to your friends. I try to touch upon topics that tend to interest me. Your encouragement means a lot to me. I look forward to your feedback too.
Anonymous said…
This article provides clear idea designed for the new users of blogging,
that genuinely how to do blogging.

Here is my website; Front Line for dogs
Anonymous said…
If some one needs expert view on the topic of blogging and site-building afterward i advise
him/her to go to see this weblog, Keep up the fastidious job.


Feel free to surf to my web page looking for a job
Anonymous said…
nike free run 5.0 v2 outlet

Its such as you read my thoughts! You appear to grasp so much about this,
like you wrote the e book in it or something. I think that you could do
with a few % to pressure the message home a bit, however instead of
that, this is excellent blog. A fantastic read. I'll definitely be back.
Ajith said…
I dont think anger is only due to fear.
it may be the most common reason but the other factor that could cause anger is 1 ) excess energy in your system - sometime you do spiritual practise and you get soo much energy ,may be more than you can hold - then its like water trying to escape from a faucet.

2) Anger due to empathy -Some one hurt your friend or dear one Or you read news about cruelty to people


3) anger due to pain - Some one says or does bad to you or someone you love

Most LOVED Posts

The Ugly Truth about Caste in Kerala

Many years ago, when I wrote this post on Kerala's caste system, I had not considered that people would start sending in abusive comments about one caste over the other. It baffles me that this is how Indians, all of us, continue to judge each other on account of caste differences.  [ READ: Guru Kripa: Powerful Lessons at the Lotus Feet ] My question is - why do you ABUSE any caste or community? I suggest that you read about the lives of great Masters and their stories - none of them judged anyone on the basis of caste.  You can read the life stories of Sri Adi Shankara Bhagawadpada, Tulsidas, Jnaneshwar, Namadev, Sri Aurobindo, Sri Ramakrishna, Swami Paramahansa Yogananda, Shirdi Sai Baba, and many more Gurus in Sanathana Dharma. NONE of them endorse these caste hierarchies in Bhakti Marga. Assuming that Guru Sampradaya does not appeal to your sensibilities, do read this  new book 'Ants among Elephants' written by Sujatha Gidla, who writes about herself as being bor...

How do you light Deepam at home?

How do you light deepam at home? As a child, I loved watching the ritual of my grandmother lighting the deepam or the traditional lamp at home in the evenings. A sense of serenity accompanied her frail figure as she would carefully straighten every wick, dip it into the tiny puddle of oil and light the lamp. As my grandmother would read out the scriptures and chant the prayers, the fragrance of incense sticks and flowers added depth to the experience. In many Hindu homes nowadays, the lighting of the lamp (or the nilavilakku, as Malayalis refer to the traditional lamp in their homes) is not a regular practice. A lot of people have many questions around how to light deepam at home and which oil to use and so on. An important point to keep in mind - Maintain physical cleanliness and hygiene while lighting the lamp. Wear clean clothes while lighting the lamp. Frequently Asked Questions About Lighting Deepam at Home Collating most queries related to how to light the deepam at home, I'v...

Power of Hanuman's Work

As you start work - here's a question for you - are you disciplined about how you work and what you do every day? From dawn to dusk, we work - all of us are engaged in some task or another. Many tend to work almost on autopilot. Happens, doesn't it? Sometimes, we engage in activities that may not be of use to us and results in waste of time. Distractions trouble us - it could be a colleague talking loudly in the phone, and we may do the same too, without realising we are distracting others at work.                                        ( Source: Radio Sai.org) Often, we are not conscious of how this impacts the quality of our work and time, not to mention our energy and attitude to work. The way we work reflects in the minds of our children. They watch us and we barely realise what they imbibe. Now life wasn't easy for our elders - in fact, they had none of the comforts that we do today...

Best time to light diya

Want to know when is the best time to light diya or deepam at home? In most Hindu homes, 'deepam' or 'diya' is lit at least twice - once in the morning and then in the evening. For both times, brass is considered to be auspicious for lighting deepam or lamp at home. Clay diyas are also considered auspicious for lighting at home. When lighting diyas on Fridays, it is better to use ghee than oil, if possible. [READ: What Does Deepam Represent , Why Malayalis Light Nilavilakku ] When Should I Start Lighting Diyas? The symbolic shift begins from darkess to light. Therefore, in the evenings, light diya before sunset to usher in divine blessings into your home. Can we light diyas at 4pm? Typically, we don't see sunset at 4 pm. If sunset is at 4 pm, you can light diya. When to light a lamp in the puja room? Every morning at sunrise and every evening before or at sunset. Whatever you do, offer it with sincerity and love in your heart. Our Devatas are watching, they know wh...

Food in Hinduism: The Significance of Offering Food to God

If one offers Me with love and devotion a leaf, a flower, fruit or water, I will accept it. – Lord Krishna (Bhagawad Gita) Food brings a sense of warmth, hospitality and loving awareness when it is prepared. In most Indian homes, we place considerable importance to the preparation of food and how it is served.  For the same reason, in most Indian homes, food is served with care and love to a guest. I have found it interesting that food can bridge differences, bring people together rather than divide them. If you have missed my post on 'Three Types of Purity While Preparing Food,' you can read it here.                                                       [Image: Pexels.com] Food in Hinduism: Importance of Naivedyam In Hinduism, food is considered to be an aspect of Brahman (the Absolute and Almighty one). The rationale for this in Hi...