What is the worst nightmare for a parent? Undoubtedly, the death of one's child. Or have you ever lost someone you loved and struggled to pick up the pieces of your life since then? The first time I read Aarti Raheja's "Where One is not a Number', I found tears flowing from my eyes. A happy couple's life is shattered. It's the kind of thing that can happen to anyone at anytime. This is a MUST READ book.
A loved one's death has a way of taking your life apart and making you reflect on everything in your life including the purpose of your own.
To read about a young and happy couple losing their child in a heart wrenching way and their struggles to come to terms with the hard reality of living without him cannot be explained in words. As I read it, I felt their sorrow weigh down on me. I remember crying when I had read Nan Umrigar's book. While I am not a follower or a devotee of the renowned Parsi spiritual master, Meher Baba, I understood the devotion and love of those who are his followers and whose experiences were shared so candidly in Nan Umrigar's books.
[READ: Nan Umrigar's Sounds of Silence]
As the couple struggle to navigate through their grief, they find themselves taken by complete surprise. After reading Nan Umrigar's book 'Sounds of Silence', they decide to visit start Meherabad. The couple begin to experience a sense of peace and belonging in the abode of the Parsi master, Meher Baba. Later, they visit Shiamak Davar, known to be an ardent follower of Meher Baba, who reassures the couple that 'the answer will come to you'.
In Meher Baba's words quoted in the book, "Once tested by the Avatar or Sadguru, the devotee will feel as if he is about to die; this path of God is the SUFFERING - harshest and most insurmountable thing possible. Still, don't worry and don't lose hope. Good times are ahead and after these difficulties, quietude and comfort await you." [READ: Who is Meher Baba?]
Still the couple's life was far from perfect as Aarti's grief over the passing away of their son continued. Yet she grows spiritually mature to the extent of saying, "Changes only come to change us. Change us from within. Change in believing we are human to believing we are God."
Indeed, changes seep into their lives just as the early colour of dawn seeps into light up the dark night sky. The couple start 'receiving messages' from their son who had passed away. From the realm that he had passed into, he began to communicate with his parents directly because he could not bear to witness their grief.
Another beautiful teaching of Meher Baba shared in the book:
"Start learning to love God by beginning to love those whom you cannot.
You will find that in serving others you are serving yourself.
The more you remember others with kindness and generosity, the less you remember yourself; and the less you can remember yourself, the more you forget yourself.
And when you completely forget yourself, you find me as the source of all love."
Based on the couple's communication with their son Ahaan, they share their thoughts and musings with the reader. What I liked most was that their reflections are candid and touch a chord deep within. You can connect to their grief and relate to their wisdom because it comes from their direct experience with losing their child, the worst nightmare for any parent. To come to terms with it is not easy for any parent.
During the pandemic, many people across the world suffered the loss of their loved ones and are yet to come to terms with it. For them, these words may offer a ray of hope as the words come from a couple who had experienced it all at one go and found their own unique way of coping with their son's death.
"Layers were gradually being peeled off...What did it take to love? I pondered. It didn't require money or fame, it just required a thought."
"Being true to ourselves is all that mattered. Everything else was the universe's problem and best left to the universe."
Another gem: "A life of surrender, giving up control, was the simplest solution to living a peaceful life."
As the years pass, the inevitable happens. Aarti's husband passes away. Her serenity is remarkble. Growing on the spiritual path has made her so strong within. In one of her dreams, Meher Baba tells her, "The depth of the Truth is deep in your depth."
As sorrows engulf the world and our lives in myriad ways, 'Where One is Not a Number' is a heartwrenching, candid and poignant reminder of the fact that there is no "I" or "you" or 'We' - there is only ONE.
[READ: Learn to behave: The Wisest Lessons I learned in 2018]
The sooner we internalise this truth in our daily life, the stronger we will emerge in the face of life's tragedies and tests.
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