Skip to main content

Book Review: Ships that Pass by Shashi Deshpande


Be ready for an intense emotional, literary upheaval as you get more and more involved in this story. Let me warn you, the story is slow paced. The story line is simple: it takes you through the life and emotions of Radhika who surprises her family by declaring (much to their disappointment) that she is done with studying and that she wants them to find a suitable groom for her. She feels disappointed by their lukewarm reaction and is in a hurry to get married, probably because she feels bored and has nothing special she wants to do in life and marriage, as the society often points out, seems like a perfect solution.   



Except that when she meets Ghanashyam, the ‘suitable’ groom, she is not too comfortable with the way they act their roles and try to be individuals they aren’t with each other. She behaves artificially with him and it makes her wonder whether two strangers who are playacting with one another can possibly make a marriage work in a spirit of love and understanding.  

During the time this confusion sets in her mind and she begins questioning herself on the very purpose of getting married, she receives a letter from her brother in law Shaan whom she is closer to than her beautiful, near perfect older sister, Tara. The letter disturbs her as it urgently asks her to come and stay with them for a few days as Tara is apparently not well and not communicating even to Shaan.

So, a determined younger sister packs her things and comes to stay with her older sister whom she hardly knew, liked or understood while they were growing up. What she discovers in her sister’s near perfect life devastates her. She begins to think seriously and questions emerge in her mind:

  1. So called ‘perfect’ couples as perceived by the society – does anyone even have a clue what their real, pain filled lives are like? What is the point of creating an illusion like that and living it for the rest of one’s lives?
  2. Is marriage a riddle that others can never understand? Why?
  3. What creates a perfect marriage?

At the time she is staying with her sister, she meets Ram Mohan, her sister’s old friend and loyal admirer. She is irritated by his adoration and close friendship with her beautiful sister but she also believes he is extremely kind, compassionate and sincere. Gradually, she begins to trust him and in certain moments of distress, she finds herself turning to him and relying on his judgement than that of any others.

As she grapples with the crumbling relationship between her brother in law and her sister, she finds herself becoming closer to her sister, whom she had always been envious of. Closer up, she realizes her sister’s life had been far from easy and completely different from what every one else had expected or anticipated it to be. From outside, her sister’s marriage looked perfect. Except that from inside, there was nothing left, not even anger, bitterness or indifference. It was like an empty box.

In moments of despair, Radhika turns to Ram Mohan who is older and wiser by several years.

One of his profound statements underlies the core of this novel and this reads:

“Marriage is a very strange thing. It’s a very public institution, it’s meant to tell the world that two people are going to live together, to declare that their children will be legal, that these children can inherit their property. It’s meant for social living, to ensure that some rules are observed so that men and women don’t cross the lines that are drawn for them. At the same time, marriage is an intensely personal affair. No outsider will ever know the state of some one else’s marriage. It’s a closed room, a locked room.”

This book is beautifully written, emotionally provocative and is a perfect read for those who enjoy literary fiction. Best of all, this is a book that questions all your beliefs, myths and details that populate the institution of marriage as it happens among Indians.

It makes you reflect, contemplate and ask, “What makes a marriage perfect? Will it work for me? If so, how can I be so sure?”

You won’t regret reading this book though it’s priced higher at Rs. 295 and spans 136 pages.

Comments

Unknown said…
Hmm.....Indian author books take a while to get to the US, I think... Nevertheless, shall watch out for this one.

Most Popular Posts

The Ugly Truth about Caste in Kerala

Many years ago, when I wrote this post on Kerala's caste system, I had not considered that people would start sending in abusive comments about one caste over the other. It baffles me that this is how Indians, all of us, continue to judge each other on account of caste differences.  [ READ: Guru Kripa: Powerful Lessons at the Lotus Feet ] My question is - why do you ABUSE any caste or community? I suggest that you read about the lives of great Masters and their stories - none of them judged anyone on the basis of caste.  You can read the life stories of Sri Adi Shankara Bhagawadpada, Tulsidas, Jnaneshwar, Namadev, Sri Aurobindo, Sri Ramakrishna, Swami Paramahansa Yogananda, Shirdi Sai Baba, and many more Gurus in Sanathana Dharma. NONE of them endorse these caste hierarchies in Bhakti Marga. Assuming that Guru Sampradaya does not appeal to your sensibilities, do read this  new book 'Ants among Elephants' written by Sujatha Gidla, who writes about herself as being born

How do you light Deepam at home?

How do you light deepam at home? As a child, I loved watching the ritual of my grandmother lighting the deepam or the traditional lamp at home in the evenings. A sense of serenity accompanied her frail figure as she would carefully straighten every wick, dip it into the tiny puddle of oil and light the lamp. As my grandmother would read out the scriptures and chant the prayers, the fragrance of incense sticks and flowers added depth to the experience. In many Hindu homes nowadays, the lighting of the lamp (or the nilavilakku, as Malayalis refer to the traditional lamp in their homes) is not a regular practice. A lot of people have many questions around how to light deepam at home and which oil to use and so on. An important point to keep in mind - Maintain physical cleanliness and hygiene while lighting the lamp. Wear clean clothes while lighting the lamp. Frequently Asked Questions About Lighting Deepam at Home Collating most queries related to how to light the deepam at home, I'v

Gayatri Mantra as Panchamukhi: Get it right or let it go

Most people do not understand the importance of chanting the Gayatri mantra because they are not aware of its power. It is only when I began to read Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba's teachings that I learned how sacred and powerful the chanting of the Gayatri mantra is.    The Vedas represent the breath of God. The Gayatri mantra is the very basis of the Vedas. Try not to undertake chanting the Gayatri mantra as a light endeavor or as a hobby. It has to be chanted with faith, discipline and purity of mind and body. Be steady with your sadhana if you want to reap the spiritual dividend associated with the Gayatri mantra  and never once hesitate once you decide to do it.  Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba said that the Gayatri Mantra is referred to as Pancha Mukhi, the Goddess with five faces that represent the five pranas or life forces. Here's more on it. .  Also read: The Power of OM   Chant the Gayatri Mantra correctly: Pause Five Times Here are some important thi

Malayalam film Sara 's on Amazon Prime is a bold take on a woman's right to abortion

Sara's Malayalam movie review: Malayalam cinema is known for breaking stereotypes even when its male audience may find it clearly unpalatable. One of the recent Malayalam films this year that I really found thought provoking is 'Sara's' on Amazon Prime despite the fact that it has many sketchy areas in its narrative and I do not support Sara's personal choices. [READ: Prithviraj starrer Mumbai Police breaks stereotypes!] Sara's Malayalam Movie Review: To have a child or not should be a woman's decision 'Sara's' is a film that urges Malayalis to give a 'woman' more independence about deciding whether she is ready to marry, and if she is, if she wants to have a child and if that choice comes under scrutiny, the final choice should be hers alone - it is her body, her life - not the guy's. This is something I personally believe in - a woman should never be forced to do anything against her will by anyone. No matter how you view it, a man

Amazing Signs You are an Earth Angel

Doreen Virtue’s book, “Assertiveness for Earth Angels” brings to life the reality of Earth Angels in very easy way. It’s an exciting must-read!   Enjoyed reading this? Then,  do subscribe to my Substack newsletter! Who are Earth Angels? Earth Angels have amazing superpowers in: Music Arts Writing Healing Manifesting miracles for others such as controlling weather conditions and  becoming invisible at will. How to Identify Earth Angels by their Traits To know whether you are an Earth Angel, take a look at their known traits that are explained in this book: You have a graceful and compassionate aura that inspires people . Your presence “lifts” everyone to happier spirits – it is proof of who you really are. You don’t judge others but you overdo the “acceptance” bit. So, you tolerate even those who show no respect for boundaries. You cannot stand anyone suffering or being in pain. You are constantly “rescuing people” because it is in your na