Skip to main content

Shoppers Shock!

I went to one of those branded fashion stores that had unveiled their summer collection and i thought its a great chance to just check out what the design range and prices are like. I usually like to buy stuff from there if its affordable, of course.  

There was this nice young affluent family who were making a lot of noise in the womens' trial  room section where girls and women were trying out stuff they wanted to buy. I noticed this family because they seemed so cozy and full of laughter, which is usually the case when there are more than two family members nearby. 

The father was striking because of his booming voice and too loud personality. He looked like perhaps he is in his early forties, the mother looked like she was in her thirties.

The daughter seemed to be in her teens, she looked very young, pampered, i-always-get-what-i-demand types. She had a high pitched voice and she talked down to the sales girls and seemed to find fault with everything around her. She had this scratchy, whiny type of voice that just got onto your nerves even though she looked pretty and had a really nice smile. Personally, I find it difficult to be friendly with people like that because they take this high and mighty attitude and inflict it happily on others around them, thinking that is a fine and acceptable way to behave, which is not the case.

The family seemed to have come on this really important mission of choosing the girl's first 'inner wear' stuff. That's ok. I can understand that. 

What I couldn't understand or find acceptable was that the girl's father was the one who was choosing all of it very selectively.  He would hold up stuff, peer at it, debate about it and I found this behavior very unbecoming in a store that was full of women. He was the only man in the womens' trial room. Even girls who had come with their husbands or boyfriends had come in to the trial room on their own, leaving the guys to stand outside at a decent distance away from the trial room.

Maybe this is a new Indian upper class fad or something, I don't know nor do I want to know but it was shocking to find the father debating about the measurements and the designs so intimately with the daughter and the sales girls. He talked like a man who knows too much about womens' inner wear, which is fine if he hadn't been articulating it so loudly for all the women to hear! 

The sales girls were being given instructions to get measurements right, to get the brand right, etc. When the girl is trying out stuff, the father is hovering around outside asking her, too loudly, "Does it fit?" "Is the color okay?" "Should I check?" "Can I get you another measurement or brand?" "Is this good for gym?" 

The mother - whom I frankly felt sorry for - sat in a corner, looking completely defeated. Not even the sales girls paid her the slightest bit of attention. The daughter too addressed only the father as "Papa." 

The way in which he was deciding for his daughter - discussing it vis a vis her anatomy so loudly - i can't believe Indian fathers would go into such hour-long details about this with their daughters. I felt sick but I consoled myself thinking that perhaps these upper class affluent families did things differently from ordinary families.

What do you think?

♥♥  I thank you with all my heart for reading my post. I dedicate this post with love and gratitude to all those who want to see a better value system in the society. REQUEST: Please SHARE this article on your favorite social networks. Every share, like or tweet makes me reach out to more people who work towards a better society and a happier world. I am grateful and I appreciate you for doing so. ♥♥

Comments

Harish said…
hm.. the society is changing. or may be they have their own reasons.
Shilpa Garg said…
Shocking and surprising indeed!! But, if the mother is silently sitting in one corner for this kind of shopping, there must be a reason (story) behind this!!
Changing face of Society??!!
Hey Harish, I don't know what to think because its just very difficult to accept certain types of behavior.

My thoughts were the same as yours, Shilpa. Why's the mother sitting quietly in a corner and not doing something? The changing face of the society is turning bizarre.
Swati said…
Strange ..my father used to choose / play most important part in choosing all my external clothing , since our choices matched , more than they did with my mom. But I can never imagine him choosing that stuff for me or even discussing :P
Rachna said…
This is truly disgusting. I mean what in the world could make a father and daughter comfortable in taking bras and cup sizes. This is obscenity and I feel really sorry for the wife that she has to put up with such a jerk, and the daughter is pretty weird herself. No matter how rich one becomes, there are just certain things one doesn't do with fathers. What is next choosing the right brand of sanitary napkins for her, ugh...
Tan said…
What I feel is that, when a girl becomes too close to her father, she might see her mom in him. This might be th reason why she discusses such stuff with him. But, I too did not like the fact that he was behaving the way you described in front of other women. That should have been avoided.

I have heard of motherless girls being brought up by their dads such that the dad becomes the mom for the girl.

If the mom is sitting silently in a corner, that could mean something else.

First time in your blog. I liked your space:)
Rama said…
ican't digest this situation.i think he was not a father.
@Swati, I feel the same way as you do. There are some things that are just not done and this is one of them!

@Rachna, u r absolutely spot on about this! I felt sick to the core just seeing and hearing this.

@Tan, thanks for the warm words of encouragement. Means a lot to me. And yes, sometimes it happens that a daughter feels her father is like a mother but then, the father's behavior balances it out. Here, the father was behaving like a total pervert.She should be careful for her own sake.
Rama, I had the same doubt then i thought maybe I've been watching too many movies and am getting far-fetched ideas....at first glance, they really seemed like a family. Truth, however, is stranger than fiction.
Palash said…
This is totally unacceptable..As a father of a 10yr old, I cant even imagine doing this stuff. Many can say its "Changing face", but to me, its crossing "certain boundaries" which differentiate us from a "Organism" to a "HUMAN BEING". Apologies if I had been blunt.
Rachit said…
quite intimidating.. :)
Time is changing so the trial rooms.
I like the post 'With compliments from Adi'.
Adi's pic with the bird : Brave boy!

Thanks for the comment on my blog.
Keep visiting. :)
@Palash - Absolutely correct!

@Rachit - Yes, it's nauseating!

@Chandrika - Many thanks for the encouraging words. Hope to see you soon.
Life Begins said…
Oh that does not sound right at all. Something surely misfit there.
@Life Begins - Exactly my thoughts!
Shafi said…
"Indian upper class fad" .. i like it it read like "Indian upper class faggot". you should have taken his picture and send it to news channel .. lol
@Sharif - Didn't cross my mind at the time.

Most Popular Posts

The Ugly Truth about Caste in Kerala

Many years ago, when I wrote this post on Kerala's caste system, I had not considered that I would receive such online abuse for writing this or that I would be seen as some one who was trying to insult other castes. The intention of writing is always to share an experience or a perspective, not to insult others.  My experience of motherhood and marriage would be different from yours. When I write about my experience, it is illogical to abuse me because our journeys are entirely different narratives. My life and yours are not the same at any given point of time.

My question is - why do you ABUSE any caste or person here? You are free to disagree but why do you ABUSE? How does that reflect on YOU?

In my article, I shared what trials I went through, without any intention to insult any community.A new book 'Ants among Elephants' written by Sujatha Gidla, who writes about herself as being born 'an untouchable in India' teaches you everything you probably want to know abo…

Mahamrityunjaya Mantra: Meaning, Benefit of Chanting and Who can Chant the Mantra

Mahadmrityunjaya Mantra: Benefit of chanting this mantra nee

There are very few mantras that are as powerful as the Maha Mrityunjaya Mantra. Do read my post: Does Mahamrityunajaya mantra really work?Of course, it does but you need to undertstand the meaning and significance of the mantra first.
This mantra is believed to have the power to remove all sufferings, diseases and bestow the one who chants it with good health and long life. It is also believed that constant contemplation of the Maha Mrityunjaya Mantra can help spiritual aspirants to overcome the cycle of birth and death.
What got me fascinated about this mantra is something personal.  I learned this mantra from my father but it is my maternal grandmother who chanted it all the time and repeatedly told me of its tremendous power to protect. However, I did not chant this mantra regularly. [ Do READ: THE POWER OF LOVE]
But at the age of two, my son was taught some mantras by my mother who explained what it means to him and he becam…

Amazing Signs You are an Earth Angel

Doreen Virtue’s book, “Assertiveness for Earth Angels” brings to life the reality of Earth Angels in very easy way. It’s an exciting must-read! 

[DO READ: The POWER OF LOVE]

Earth Angels have amazing superpowers in: MusicArtsWriting HealingManifesting miracles for others such as controlling weather conditions and  becoming invisible at will.
[MUST READ: A Dad's Advice to the Daughter He loves]
DO READ: ASK MORE, FEAR LESS.

How to Identify Earth Angels by their Traits
To know whether you are an Earth Angel, take a look at their known traits that are explained in this book:


You have a graceful and compassionate aura that inspires people.Your presence “lifts” everyone to happier spirits – it is proof of who you really are.You don’t judge others but you overdo the “acceptance” bit. So, you tolerate even those who show no respect for boundaries.You cannot stand anyone suffering or being in pain. You are constantly “rescuing people” because it is in your nature to want to see everyone happy in …

Five ways to take charge of your anger

“It is wise to direct your anger towards problems -- not people; to focus your energies on answers -- not excuses.” ― William Arthur Ward
Every day, the newspaper headlines are full of scary stories of people killing each other over trivial things - mostly these incidents happen when individuals lose their temper and turn violent. In traffic jams across Noida in the evenings, people don't hesitate to walk out and hit each other.  At workplaces, colleagues lose their temper and say things that they regret later. During holidays with loved ones, small things set us off and we say things that damage relationships forever. No one stops anyone. Everyone likes a big, bad fight. It's great to vent. After all, what's the big deal about getting angry? After all, if you cannot express what pisses you off, how can you call yourself human? 


Does anger solve your problems? You know the answer!

If anger solved all the problems in the world, this world would have been a perfect place centur…

Gayatri Mantra as Panchamukhi: Get it right or let it go

Most people do not understand the importance of chanting the Gayatri mantra because they are not aware of its power. It is only when I began to read Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba's teachings that I learned how sacred and powerful the chanting of the Gayatri mantra is.
The Vedas represent the breath of God. The Gayatri mantra is the very basis of the Vedas. Try not to undertake chanting the Gayatri mantra as a light endeavor or as a hobby. It has to be chanted with faith, discipline and purity of mind and body. Be steady with your sadhana if you want to reap the spiritual dividend associated with the Gayatri mantra  and never once hesitate once you decide to do it.
Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba said that the Gayatri Mantra is referred to as Pancha Mukhi, the Goddess with five faces that represent the five pranas or life forces. Here's more on it.


Chant the Gayatri Mantra correctly: Pause Five Times Here are some important things to keep in mind while chanting the Gayatri mantra:

1. Wh…

Top 10 Skincare tips for Summer

Come summer, and we women worry a lot about how the sun lashes out on our skin. True, skincare tips for the summer are plenty but what about the hushed secrets - yes, those tried and tested family secrets that are passed on from mother to daughters? [ALSO READ: How to NEVER EVER GIVE UP on the spiritual path]

FOLLOW MY BOARDS ON PINTEREST

Here are some that are totally easy to do. Best of all, these are effective and bring on a feel-good factor in the peak of summer.

1. Replace water with rosewater. It keeps your skin luminous and fragrant throughout the day. It's a good toner too.

2. Cleanse your skin by combining these ingredients - honey, milk, rosewater/rosepetals and turmeric. Add a dash of olive oil and yes, it feels wonderful.

3. Almond oil body baths are a must-have! You will smell delicious all day. This summer, skip all those body lotions & moisturizers! You will love the way almond oil pampers your skin all day!

4. Use a mixture of almond oil and olive oil for your fe…

Feeling depressed and low? This guy at Costa Coffee taught me something invaluable about being at peace!

At Costa Coffee outlet at DLF Mall in  Noida today, I hovered blankly over an iced latte. I wasn't in my best mood. You know how it is, there are days when one feels disappointed and let down by the self and withdraw into an inner shell.  [READ: Does sincerity have any value?]

FOLLOW MY BOARDS ON PINTEREST

And so it happens that the server at Costa Coffee who brought to our table what we had ordered is a smiling young man. He has a big, happy smile on his face.
We looked up. He was conveying something with his fingers to my son, who had his headphones switched on and was listening to music. I looked up and understood then that the young man was deaf and unable to speak, which is why he was using sign language to communicate.
This is what I think he communicated to my son, ''Enjoy your sandwich.You have a good smile and a good day.  Thank you for coming today, happy to serve you."
My son was also gesturing back to him with a bright smile and conveying thank you. [READ: Chil…

Mumbai Police Movie Review: Prithviraj breaks the typical 'hero' mold, challenges sexual stereotyping

Exploring a completely different dimension in his latest film Mumbai Police, Director Rosshan Anddrews delivers a fast-paced, thriller film after his award winning fims such as Udayananu Tharam, Notebook and others.



To flesh out the script written by Boby Sanjay, Rosshan Anddrews ropes in actors such as Prithviraj, Rahman and Jayasurya to portray three police officers: Antony Moses, Farhan and Aryan respectively.
The story begins with a phone call that Antony Moses (starring Prithviraj) makes to Farhan (starring Rahman) saying that he has solved the murder mystery of Aryan (starring Jayasurya). Just as he says this, there is an accident and Antony Moses loses his memory. From then, Farhan's attempt is to take Antony through people and places that are likely to trigger his memory so that they can solve the murder of their close friend and colleague Aryan. A series of events happen, almost hurtling us towards it.
And I am taking the liberty to hand out trophies for the following:
'M…

The Secret Wishlist by Preeti Shenoy

Have you ever been banished from your parents' good books because of a secret kiss when you were just sixteen?
Did you spend nearly all your life trying to win back the trust and approval of your parents for that one mistake you made?
Have you regretted your marriage that your parents rushed you into and you agreed out of sheer guilt? 
Have you ever made a secret wishlist with something like "have sex with someone other than husband" on it? 
Yes or no, don't miss reading Preeti Shenoy's recently released novel titled 'The Secret Wishlist.' 



From page one, you are bound to get pulled into Diksha's loveless marriage, her constant adjustments to Sandeep, a husband who expects everything to be done to suit his preference at all times and her need to feel valued as a person. There are so many instances when you would simply grit your teeth and wish that her boor of a husband would do something, anything, to just appreciate his wife. But no, that doesn't hap…

Book Review: Mini Sukumaran Nair's B3/703, Gulmohar Park portrays a haunting descent into the vulnerability of childhood

There are books that blaze into your thoughts and here's a book that definitely stayed within me even after weeks of reading it, With its blazing red flower cover, Mini Sukumaran Nair's novel B3/703, Gulmohar Park, caught my attention in a bookshop. As a child, I grew up reading the books of Enid Blyton, RK Narayan and Anita Desai. Mini Sukumaran Nair's refreshing narrative brought back bittersweet memories of those growing up years. Right from the first page, I felt like I could curl up with this heartwarming novel. And just in case you are wondering, this isn't a novel that was sent to me for review nor do I know the author or its publisher. I just loved the book, that's it!


This heartwarming tale of childhood, family drama and tragic upheavals is narrated from the perspective of a little girl called Madhura, whose mother Vani is a maid in the home of an affluent Punjabi family and later on, through the perspective of her mother's employers, Avantika and Siris…