Skip to main content

Shoppers Shock!

I went to one of those branded fashion stores that had unveiled their summer collection and i thought its a great chance to just check out what the design range and prices are like. I usually like to buy stuff from there if its affordable, of course.  

There was this nice young affluent family who were making a lot of noise in the womens' trial  room section where girls and women were trying out stuff they wanted to buy. I noticed this family because they seemed so cozy and full of laughter, which is usually the case when there are more than two family members nearby. 

The father was striking because of his booming voice and too loud personality. He looked like perhaps he is in his early forties, the mother looked like she was in her thirties.

The daughter seemed to be in her teens, she looked very young, pampered, i-always-get-what-i-demand types. She had a high pitched voice and she talked down to the sales girls and seemed to find fault with everything around her. She had this scratchy, whiny type of voice that just got onto your nerves even though she looked pretty and had a really nice smile. Personally, I find it difficult to be friendly with people like that because they take this high and mighty attitude and inflict it happily on others around them, thinking that is a fine and acceptable way to behave, which is not the case.

The family seemed to have come on this really important mission of choosing the girl's first 'inner wear' stuff. That's ok. I can understand that. 

What I couldn't understand or find acceptable was that the girl's father was the one who was choosing all of it very selectively.  He would hold up stuff, peer at it, debate about it and I found this behavior very unbecoming in a store that was full of women. He was the only man in the womens' trial room. Even girls who had come with their husbands or boyfriends had come in to the trial room on their own, leaving the guys to stand outside at a decent distance away from the trial room.

Maybe this is a new Indian upper class fad or something, I don't know nor do I want to know but it was shocking to find the father debating about the measurements and the designs so intimately with the daughter and the sales girls. He talked like a man who knows too much about womens' inner wear, which is fine if he hadn't been articulating it so loudly for all the women to hear! 

The sales girls were being given instructions to get measurements right, to get the brand right, etc. When the girl is trying out stuff, the father is hovering around outside asking her, too loudly, "Does it fit?" "Is the color okay?" "Should I check?" "Can I get you another measurement or brand?" "Is this good for gym?" 

The mother - whom I frankly felt sorry for - sat in a corner, looking completely defeated. Not even the sales girls paid her the slightest bit of attention. The daughter too addressed only the father as "Papa." 

The way in which he was deciding for his daughter - discussing it vis a vis her anatomy so loudly - i can't believe Indian fathers would go into such hour-long details about this with their daughters. I felt sick but I consoled myself thinking that perhaps these upper class affluent families did things differently from ordinary families.

What do you think?

♥♥  I thank you with all my heart for reading my post. I dedicate this post with love and gratitude to all those who want to see a better value system in the society. REQUEST: Please SHARE this article on your favorite social networks. Every share, like or tweet makes me reach out to more people who work towards a better society and a happier world. I am grateful and I appreciate you for doing so. ♥♥

Comments

Harish said…
hm.. the society is changing. or may be they have their own reasons.
Shilpa Garg said…
Shocking and surprising indeed!! But, if the mother is silently sitting in one corner for this kind of shopping, there must be a reason (story) behind this!!
Changing face of Society??!!
Hey Harish, I don't know what to think because its just very difficult to accept certain types of behavior.

My thoughts were the same as yours, Shilpa. Why's the mother sitting quietly in a corner and not doing something? The changing face of the society is turning bizarre.
Swati said…
Strange ..my father used to choose / play most important part in choosing all my external clothing , since our choices matched , more than they did with my mom. But I can never imagine him choosing that stuff for me or even discussing :P
Rachna said…
This is truly disgusting. I mean what in the world could make a father and daughter comfortable in taking bras and cup sizes. This is obscenity and I feel really sorry for the wife that she has to put up with such a jerk, and the daughter is pretty weird herself. No matter how rich one becomes, there are just certain things one doesn't do with fathers. What is next choosing the right brand of sanitary napkins for her, ugh...
Tan said…
What I feel is that, when a girl becomes too close to her father, she might see her mom in him. This might be th reason why she discusses such stuff with him. But, I too did not like the fact that he was behaving the way you described in front of other women. That should have been avoided.

I have heard of motherless girls being brought up by their dads such that the dad becomes the mom for the girl.

If the mom is sitting silently in a corner, that could mean something else.

First time in your blog. I liked your space:)
Rama said…
ican't digest this situation.i think he was not a father.
@Swati, I feel the same way as you do. There are some things that are just not done and this is one of them!

@Rachna, u r absolutely spot on about this! I felt sick to the core just seeing and hearing this.

@Tan, thanks for the warm words of encouragement. Means a lot to me. And yes, sometimes it happens that a daughter feels her father is like a mother but then, the father's behavior balances it out. Here, the father was behaving like a total pervert.She should be careful for her own sake.
Rama, I had the same doubt then i thought maybe I've been watching too many movies and am getting far-fetched ideas....at first glance, they really seemed like a family. Truth, however, is stranger than fiction.
Palash said…
This is totally unacceptable..As a father of a 10yr old, I cant even imagine doing this stuff. Many can say its "Changing face", but to me, its crossing "certain boundaries" which differentiate us from a "Organism" to a "HUMAN BEING". Apologies if I had been blunt.
Rachit said…
quite intimidating.. :)
Time is changing so the trial rooms.
I like the post 'With compliments from Adi'.
Adi's pic with the bird : Brave boy!

Thanks for the comment on my blog.
Keep visiting. :)
@Palash - Absolutely correct!

@Rachit - Yes, it's nauseating!

@Chandrika - Many thanks for the encouraging words. Hope to see you soon.
Life Begins said…
Oh that does not sound right at all. Something surely misfit there.
@Life Begins - Exactly my thoughts!
Shafi said…
"Indian upper class fad" .. i like it it read like "Indian upper class faggot". you should have taken his picture and send it to news channel .. lol
@Sharif - Didn't cross my mind at the time.

Most Popular Posts

Mahamrityunjaya Mantra: Meaning, Benefit of Chanting and Who can Chant the Mantra

Mahadmrityunjaya Mantra: Benefit of chanting this mantra nee

There are very few mantras that are as powerful as the Maha Mrityunjaya Mantra. Do read my post: Does Mahamrityunajaya mantra really work?Of course, it does but you need to undertstand the meaning and significance of the mantra first.
This mantra is believed to have the power to remove all sufferings, diseases and bestow the one who chants it with good health and long life. It is also believed that constant contemplation of the Maha Mrityunjaya Mantra can help spiritual aspirants to overcome the cycle of birth and death.
What got me fascinated about this mantra is something personal.  I learned this mantra from my father but it is my maternal grandmother who chanted it all the time and repeatedly told me of its tremendous power to protect. However, I did not chant this mantra regularly. [ Do READ: THE POWER OF LOVE]
But at the age of two, my son was taught some mantras by my mother who explained what it means to him and he becam…

The Ugly Truth about Caste in Kerala

Many years ago, when I wrote this post on Kerala's caste system, I had not considered the possibility that my thoughts and my personal journey would receive such online abuse or that I would be seen as some one who was trying to insult other castes. The intention of writing is always to share an experience and not to insult others. My experience of motherhood and marriage would be different from yours. When I write about my experience, it is illogical to shout that as being insulting to your experience because our journeys are entirely different narratives. 

My question is - why do you ABUSE any caste or person here? You are free to disagree but why do you ABUSE? How does that reflect on YOU?

In my article, I shared what trials I went through, without any intention to insult any community.The intention of my article is to question - why are we even exchanging insults over an issue called caste? 

Should we not be aspiring to be above caste considerations instead of abusing each other …

Amazing Signs You are an Earth Angel

Doreen Virtue’s book, “Assertiveness for Earth Angels” brings to life the reality of Earth Angels in very easy way. It’s an exciting must-read! 

[DO READ: The POWER OF LOVE]

Earth Angels have amazing superpowers in: MusicArtsWriting HealingManifesting miracles for others such as controlling weather conditions and  becoming invisible at will.
[MUST READ: A Dad's Advice to the Daughter He loves]
DO READ: ASK MORE, FEAR LESS.

How to Identify Earth Angels by their Traits
To know whether you are an Earth Angel, take a look at their known traits that are explained in this book:


You have a graceful and compassionate aura that inspires people.Your presence “lifts” everyone to happier spirits – it is proof of who you really are.You don’t judge others but you overdo the “acceptance” bit. So, you tolerate even those who show no respect for boundaries.You cannot stand anyone suffering or being in pain. You are constantly “rescuing people” because it is in your nature to want to see everyone happy in …

Why love matters - Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hanh has an amazing insight to share!

What is love? It means different things to different people. 

Have you thought about it? Do read: POWER OF LOVE

The best way to understand 'love' is to reflect on what it means to you from deep within - soak yourself in the thought of what the word means to you. For a teenager, love is 'crush', for a young person, her boyfriend is her love, for a mother, love is the baby growing every day. For a spiritual seeker, God is Love. 

The idea of 'love' just sparks our curiosity - writers cannot stop exploring the nuances of love. Some of the most beautiful thoughts in poetry are about love. Artists bring to life the loss of wounds and heartbreaks in their portrayal of love. Nearly every film that we see amplifies the emotion of love through complex narratives and songs.


READ: Love means to see one you happy




FOLLOW MY BOARDS ON PINTEREST

But what exactly is love? Is it what we see on screen or read about in books?

Love has to be experienced first, right? But how do you know i…

Five ways to take charge of your anger

“It is wise to direct your anger towards problems -- not people; to focus your energies on answers -- not excuses.” ― William Arthur Ward
Every day, the newspaper headlines are full of scary stories of people killing each other over trivial things - mostly these incidents happen when individuals lose their temper and turn violent. In traffic jams across Noida in the evenings, people don't hesitate to walk out and hit each other.  At workplaces, colleagues lose their temper and say things that they regret later. During holidays with loved ones, small things set us off and we say things that damage relationships forever. No one stops anyone. Everyone likes a big, bad fight. It's great to vent. After all, what's the big deal about getting angry? After all, if you cannot express what pisses you off, how can you call yourself human? 


Does anger solve your problems? You know the answer!

If anger solved all the problems in the world, this world would have been a perfect place centur…

Book Review: Nan Umrigar's Sounds of Silence, A Bridge Across Two Worlds

The year 1978 was a glorious one for Karl Umrigar – a young man who won many prestigious horse races, including the Indian 2000 Guineas and the Indian Oakes. Finally, Karl Umrigar fulfilled his dream – every jockey’s dream– to win the Indian Derby. His name remains in the Indian Derby scroll of honour. 
But just at exactly the moment Karl won, he fell from the horse.  A fall that finally saw the country mourn for him when the headlines of the Indian Express read, “The King is Dead.” Karl Umrigar, the young champion and loved by many, was laid to rest on May 3, 1979.
Karl Umrigar’s Death: Bridge between Two Worlds You can imagine what Karl’s death did to his family, particularly his mother – Nan Umrigar. She says, “Nothing could have prepared us for the darkness that descended upon us – nothing!
While her family tried to pull on with daily routine, Nan Umrigar found herself in such a state of agony and trauma that she couldn’t resume a normal life. She couldn’t let go of her son.
She heard…

A Dad's advice to the daughter he loves: Be yourself, remember you are special and treasure your strengths

Just a week ago, Dad gave me a very emotional pep talk at the Bangalore airport. The good thing is that whenever I feel emotionally vulnerable or stressed out, I replay Dad's conversation. It lifts me up and instantly brings a huge smile to my face. That's my Dad - yeah! 




As a teenager, Bangalore used to be one of my favorite cities though the garden city was not as ''global'' and ''vibrant'' as it is today. It was a pretty cool place to go shopping for stylish accessories, not that I could splurge and go crazy with shopping but I could do so on a limited budget. So, I used to look forward to our summer trips to Bangalore, from where we would head out to Whitefield. 

The busy, broad streets, the scent of street food and the vibrant atmosphere had always perked me up every time I reached Bangalore. Be it heading to Puttaparthi or Whitefield, my parents and I have traveled to Bangalore so many times that it became a kind of ''routine'…

What is true knowledge? Dada Vaswani's teaching on knowledge offers a valuable lesson!

These days, everyone is an 'expert' on a given topic and this is most evident on social media.  From make up to nutrition to every topic under the sun including coffee, wine and herbs, there are experts on every social media platform. This is not a bad thing. In fact, it can prove helpful in your quest for knowledge but sometimes these are misleading as well. Not all that shines is gold, remember? So how do you figure out the mark of a person with knowledge as compared to those who proclaims it the rest of the world?
Here is a wise quote from Ruzbeh N Bharucha's book, 'Conversations with Dada Vaswani' offers us a powerful insight about knowledge and what it means.
[MUST-READ: Sage Tiruvalluvar's Golden Advice on Friendship]

                               FOLLOW MY BOARDS ON PINTEREST
Sadhu Vaswani, who is much loved and revered as a spiritual master, shares the crux of what knowledge stands for. True - there is no wisdom greater than this.

Hey Jude movie review: Nivin Pauly and Trisha shine their magic in this feel-good, heartwarming entertainer

Acclaimed director Shyamaprasad's latest movie starring Nivin Pauly (as Jude) and Trisha (as Crystal) is a heartwarming love storyof two completely different individuals who find a rare bonding of friendship with each other, helping the other to deal with the distinct quirks in personality. The story also touches upon a very important aspect of human life - no human being is perfect and it's okay to be different and quirky but you also need to find a support system and practical ways to overcome it.


                                                    [Image: Hey Jude Facebook Page]

Jude is different but he still makes you laugh
From scene 1, you can sense that Jude is different from other men of his age - his reactions are slow, unpredictable and borders on immaturity unless it has something to do with the topics that interest him - for example, marine life or oceanic pollution. There is nothing laughable or frivolous about Jude but this is exactly where Nivin Pauly's portray…

Gayatri Mantra as Panchamukhi: Get it right or let it go

Most people do not understand the importance of chanting the Gayatri mantra because they are not aware of its power. It is only when I began to read Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba's teachings that I learned how sacred and powerful the chanting of the Gayatri mantra is.
The Vedas represent the breath of God. The Gayatri mantra is the very basis of the Vedas. Try not to undertake chanting the Gayatri mantra as a light endeavor or as a hobby. It has to be chanted with faith, discipline and purity of mind and body. Be steady with your sadhana if you want to reap the spiritual dividend associated with the Gayatri mantra  and never once hesitate once you decide to do it.
Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba said that the Gayatri Mantra is referred to as Pancha Mukhi, the Goddess with five faces that represent the five pranas or life forces. Here's more on it.


Chant the Gayatri Mantra correctly: Pause Five Times Here are some important things to keep in mind while chanting the Gayatri mantra:

1. Wh…