Skip to main content

A Dad's advice to the daughter he loves: Be yourself, remember you are special and treasure your strengths

Raising two daughters to be bold, down-to-earth and financially independent professionals is not easy. With years of dedication and discipline and of course, guided by Guru Kripa, my parents have done it well.
Dad has always been my best friend. Just a week ago, Dad gave me a very emotional pep talk at the Bangalore airport. 


The good thing is that whenever I feel emotionally vulnerable or stressed out, I replay Dad's conversation. Dad's words instantly brings a huge smile to my face. 

That's my Dad - and I truly believe that every thought, word and deed of his is divine! As a doctor, I have seen my father sacrifice his personal comforts for his patients. I have seen him skip precious moments of his children's growing up years to take care of the suffering of those who truly needed his intervention as a doctor.

As a teenager, Bangalore used to be one of my favorite cities though the garden city was not as ''global'' and ''vibrant'' as it is today. It was a pretty cool place to go shopping for stylish accessories, not that I could splurge and go crazy with shopping but I could do so on a limited budget. So, I used to look forward to our summer trips to Bangalore, from where we would head out to Whitefield. 

The busy, broad streets, the scent of street food and the vibrant atmosphere had always perked me up every time I reached Bangalore. Be it heading to Puttaparthi or Whitefield, my parents and I have traveled to Bangalore so many times that it became a kind of ''routine''.  Before my son was born, I used to take the late midnight flights to Bangalore, reach the city by 2 am and then be swamped with hugs by my parents, who would be waiting eagerly for me. From there, we would catch the early train or bus to Puttaparthi.

This time, it was a little different. I had reached Bangalore airport and my parents had reached from Kochi a few hours earlier. Our usual cab to Puttaparthi hit some unexpected glitches and we found ourselves stranded at the airport for almost two and a half hours. I had started from home to catch the flight at about 4 AM and had barely slept a few hours. Things started going badly wrong at every point and I simply lost my cool at the airport. As is the case when you lose your temper, I  too began to lose my cool for every tiny thing at others - like the cab guys were quoting exorbitant rates because they knew we needed to go. 
You get the drift.

Throughout the time, Dad was giving me helpful suggestions and making calls.
Finally, everything fell into place in one smooth swoop and we were on our way to Puttaparthi.

Before we got into our cab, Dad looked into my eyes and held my hands tightly as he said, ''Molu, ever since you were a child, you were always the calm one. Nothing ruffled you at any point. You were so quiet and serene no matter what the situation was that it brought peace to everyone around, to all of us. I have never seen you lose your temper with anyone in all these years. Today, I saw that and it disturbs me, to see you become some one you are not, hurts me."

I didn't know what to say. I had no words. Sometimes, it does feel like a daily struggle to preserve the sense of purpose and passion that propels me to find meaning on my spiritual path. [Do read: Mahashivarathri - I'm Loving It!]

"No situation is perfect in life and I know that you undergo stress because you are managing everything on your own. But that choice should not take you away from your true nature.  When you forget your uniqueness, you lose the person you are. Treasure your strengths and don't let this world or any one or anything come in the way of your true nature," Dad continued.


                                        
In typical Dad style, he hugged me and said, ''Be yourself. You are special in this world. Don't ever change the person you are, don't let stress or the world change you, Molu.

Later, as we chilled out at the Sai Towers rooftop restaurant on the night of Thiruvonam in Puttaparthi, I asked Dad, ''Why did you name me 'Swapna'? It is a very different name for some one who comes from a very traditional family."

"There is a song that I loved about dreams - 'Swapnangal ningal swargakumarikalalo'. The poetry in this song equates dreams with heavenly beings without whom the earth loses its beauty and meaning for mortals. The song influenced me a lot as I was young when you were born. My dreams brought me happiness.The beautiful thing about a dream is that you can escape into the dream state and no one can pull you back or interrupt or take away the magic of the experience from you. When you start believing in the beauty of your dreams, it comes true. For me, when you were born, you were my dream come true. Next to dreams, my happiness was centred on music - it was my joy and when your sister was born, I named her Sangeetha,'' Dad said, as we sat watching the stars, the moon and feeling the breeze in the air.



A spell of magic in a magical place, where there is no further journey to be undertaken, a place of completeness where the heart can reach a magical place where everything including the sand grains seems loveable.

Dad has a way with words that brings tears to my eyes and a huge smile to my face. We decided to capture these magical moments with these clicks.



[If you liked reading this, please do read about Life in Puttaparthi - The Japanese Lady who left me mesmerised]

As I wrap up these personal moments, I want to leave you with a message of love that my father imparted to me when I lost my temper for the silliest reasons:

Be yourself. 

Find your happiness in the spaces that you inhabit. 

Treasure your strengths. 

Love your parents truly, madly, deeply, unconditionally! 

They love you more than anyone else on earth. 

I am saying this from personal experience.




Remember - YOU are SPECIAL. You are NOT ALONE.  God is with You!


Comments

harimohan said…
This post is truly filled with fragrance .
premila said…
Enjoyed the post Swapna Relationship between parents and children are special and the child realises when he/she becomes a parent too ...I know how calm your parents are and i believe both their children are too Stay blessed dears

Thanks so much Hari uncle and Premila aunty for your loving thoughts and comments, especially as you have known Dad and Mom for so many years now. Sending joyous energy your way.
MOHAN SUNDARAM said…
On looking at the photographs of your parents, I get the impression that they are good and guileless people.

Most Popular Posts

The Ugly Truth about Caste in Kerala

Many years ago, when I wrote this post on Kerala's caste system, I had not considered that people would start sending in abusive comments about one caste over the other. It baffles me that this is how Indians, all of us, continue to judge each other on account of caste differences.  [ READ: Guru Kripa: Powerful Lessons at the Lotus Feet ] My question is - why do you ABUSE any caste or community? I suggest that you read about the lives of great Masters and their stories - none of them judged anyone on the basis of caste.  You can read the life stories of Sri Adi Shankara Bhagawadpada, Tulsidas, Jnaneshwar, Namadev, Sri Aurobindo, Sri Ramakrishna, Swami Paramahansa Yogananda, Shirdi Sai Baba, and many more Gurus in Sanathana Dharma. NONE of them endorse these caste hierarchies in Bhakti Marga. Assuming that Guru Sampradaya does not appeal to your sensibilities, do read this  new book 'Ants among Elephants' written by Sujatha Gidla, who writes about herself as being bor...

Gayatri Mantra as Panchamukhi: Get it right or let it go

Most people do not understand the importance of chanting the Gayatri mantra because they are not aware of its power. It is only when I began to read Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba's teachings that I learned how sacred and powerful the chanting of the Gayatri mantra is.    The Vedas represent the breath of God. The Gayatri mantra is the very basis of the Vedas. Try not to undertake chanting the Gayatri mantra as a light endeavor or as a hobby. It has to be chanted with faith, discipline and purity of mind and body. Be steady with your sadhana if you want to reap the spiritual dividend associated with the Gayatri mantra  and never once hesitate once you decide to do it.  Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba said that the Gayatri Mantra is referred to as Pancha Mukhi, the Goddess with five faces that represent the five pranas or life forces. Here's more on it. .  Also read: The Power of OM   Chant the Gayatri Mantra correctly: Pause Five Times Here a...

Amazing Signs You are an Earth Angel

Doreen Virtue’s book, “Assertiveness for Earth Angels” brings to life the reality of Earth Angels in very easy way. It’s an exciting must-read!   Enjoyed reading this? Then,  do subscribe to my Substack newsletter! Who are Earth Angels? Earth Angels have amazing superpowers in: Music Arts Writing Healing Manifesting miracles for others such as controlling weather conditions and  becoming invisible at will. How to Identify Earth Angels by their Traits To know whether you are an Earth Angel, take a look at their known traits that are explained in this book: You have a graceful and compassionate aura that inspires people . Your presence “lifts” everyone to happier spirits – it is proof of who you really are. You don’t judge others but you overdo the “acceptance” bit. So, you tolerate even those who show no respect for boundaries. You cannot stand anyone suffering or being in pain. You are constantly “rescuing people” because it...

How do you light Deepam at home?

How do you light deepam at home? As a child, I loved watching the ritual of my grandmother lighting the deepam or the traditional lamp at home in the evenings. A sense of serenity accompanied her frail figure as she would carefully straighten every wick, dip it into the tiny puddle of oil and light the lamp. As my grandmother would read out the scriptures and chant the prayers, the fragrance of incense sticks and flowers added depth to the experience. In many Hindu homes nowadays, the lighting of the lamp (or the nilavilakku, as Malayalis refer to the traditional lamp in their homes) is not a regular practice. A lot of people have many questions around how to light deepam at home and which oil to use and so on. An important point to keep in mind - Maintain physical cleanliness and hygiene while lighting the lamp. Wear clean clothes while lighting the lamp. Frequently Asked Questions About Lighting Deepam at Home Collating most queries related to how to light the deepam at home, I'v...

How to never ever give up on the spiritual path

The Upanishads have compared a spiritual aspirant's journey to a razor's edge. From the age of 9, I have been walking on that razor's edge. No matter how hard I try, how sincerely I aspire, the fall is always a gut-wrenching one, filled with mind-numbing pain.  Then I chant the name of Lord Sai in my heart and I start my baby steps all over again, stumbling, sometimes falling but always knowing that my God is there , protectively watching over me.  Being human, sometimes I forget that my nature is essentially divine. And on such days, I turn to Baba in despair, wanting to understand the cause of these inner struggles and consequent pain.  I forget that my real Self is untouched by suffering.  One such day, this was His message through the book 'Life is a dream; Realize it' by Joy Thomas: "Many quail before the impossible demands of Sadhana.  When confronted by calamity, you must attach yourself to this sadhana even more firmly , in...