How to control anger before it controls you

Do you find yourself angry way too often? Does anger mess up your relationships? This reminds me of a Dulquer Salmaan starrer 'Kali' which shows how anger is a life threatening thing for the person prone to anger - it turns you into a monster in a fraction of a second, making you say and do things that you never intended to do. In this film, the hero loses his temper so often that it puts his wife in real danger! In real life too, anger often leads us to say and do things that end up with disastrous consequences for ourselves than anyone else. Trust me, I know. Been there, done that!

In Pandit Rajmani Tigunait's autobiography My Spiritual Quest and Life with Swami Rama (a candid account of a village boy's spiritual struggles in today's world), he shares what happened when he lost his cool. While studying in a Sanskrit school, there was a temple of the Goddess nearby and he lived in one of its small chambers. He was very hungry and the domestic help at the temple purposely left rice uncooked over wet wood. A couple of other factors also contributed to worsen the situation. In a fit of anger and hunger, he threw the rice at the face of the Goddess in the temple!

How to control anger

Ashamed and afraid about the consequences of what he had done, he tells everything to his Guru. His Guru said, "If you don't learn to control yourself, you will have to clean up the messes you make."

How to conquer anger: A Guru's Advice

And then his Guru gave him priceless advice:

1. Find the cause of this inner unrest that created this emotional turmoil.

2. When you reflect on the subtle forces that caused you to lose your temper, you will find that unfulfilled desires are the cause of your anger.

3. The cause of anger was already there in you. The servant's behavior simply served as a spark.

This experience conveys one important truth: Unfulfilled desires are the cause of anger. Find the cause if you want to control and master your anger.

Once you find the cause, you can Take Charge of Your Anger!

Tell me how you deal with anger and angry people - what approach do you choose?

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