Conversations with Friends: Can we stop being judgmental?
This summer vacation in Kochi, I caught up with some old friends and we exchanged real life stories – of pain, struggles, heartbreak.
One friend began her conversation like this, “I filed for divorce. I couldn’t stand the cruelty any more. I thought that filing for a divorce would ruin my happiness. But I feel happier now, than I have ever been in my whole life. I am able to enjoy my life fully and freely, without any fears and with total confidence.”
I felt the happiness in her voice. And for the first time in my life, I didn’t feel sad to hear the word ‘divorce.’
And then she said something thought-provoking, “People around me make comments when they see that I am not suffering, lamenting or ashamed of having filed for divorce. They make assumptions and shallow comments about me even after knowing all that I’ve been through...why is it that we have become an ‘educated’ society that thrives on comparisons and wants to see others ‘unhappy’ – i don’t understand it.”
If we cannot empathize with others, can we not at least stop judging them or resenting them for their happiness? They have gone through pain, struggles and heart breaking moments.
Does it help any one to feel happy about some one else's pain?