“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” - Ernest Hemingway
Mothers inspire us in little ways because the ripples of love that they send out into this Universe is tremendous. Mind blowing, really. Reading about a mother (whose daughter died and she found strength by writing) got me thinking seriously about how we handle the tragedies in our lives and yes, in a way, it moved me and inspired me.
You lose your iPhone and you think the world has ended. But do you realize that you may be able to buy it again? Or some one may gift it to you when you least expect it. Anything can happen to bring it back.
But what about a mother who loses her child to Death for no fault of her own? How does she find the courage to live? Every morning when she wakes up, she hopes to see the baby she thought she had borne. But there is no such a baby and the world, despite all it's fancy words of sympathy and condolences, moves on and doesn't bat another eyelid for her or shed a tear or offer a word of solace. Well wishers may even have the audacity to tell her that she can have other children as though one child can easily replace another. The mother who lost her baby remains trapped in a time warp that stills her existence and stunts her growth and confidence. Who's at fault here? How does a mother cope with the loss of her baby?
When you make issues out of nothing, think about the lives of others for once. The battles they have lost, the inner spark they relentlessly worked hard to move forward amidst a thousand sorrows and the hard work as well as the sincere efforts they have made to make the world a better place for ordinary people like you and me.
I don't know if such mothers exist in big numbers. But here's a mother who has done it and shares her story too. I admire this mother. I do know what kind of courage and conviction it takes to even try and overcome that kind of an anguish.
“We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.” (Romans 12: 6-8 NIV)
When things go terribly wrong, how do you cope with it? What's your story?
Comments
Well another mother I can think of is Premila my wife who still lives with the memory of her shilpa every day but has created a centre for children like her Shilpa with so much dedication and today it still continues to serve after 16 long years under the Amritha group ,I still rememebr the comments we faced immediately after shilpas loss some said you should start living now of course meant well ,some said what are you feeling so sad about after all she was not a normal child ! and some were just silent and empathetic ,loss of any loved is painful and the rare some turn this love to something positive others grive and with time forget ,nothing wrong with both ,lovely qoute by Hemingway in your post so true !
The mother and father were devasted. Not the death itself. But watching their child suffer for 4 days. Finally, death was a relief.
She tried to keep herself busy and active and got involved in causes and volunteer work she cared about. She also joined a couple support groups with parents in similar situations which helped her a lot. She has now become more of a mentor to other parents who had recently lost a child.
Although many days were tough for her to even get up or leave her house. It's a day by day journey for her and has taken many years. She is progressing very slowly in moving forward (understandably).
I don't think words can explain the grief or daily pain a mother faces with the loss of a child.
@Vishnu: You are right. It's a day by day journey and the progress to overcome that pain is perhaps a never ending one for a mother. But in recent years, I met many young mothers who opt for abortions, feel no remorse at all and look to life with absolute fun and happiness. While I admire their inner strength to be able to do that, a part of me lingers on with a life that they consciously chose to let go of or in harsher words, "eliminate." These are choices that seem to increase with the times that we live in. Not for me to judge whether its good or bad but at the end of the day, a human life is precious, a baby's life more so because two people brought that baby into existence in the first place.