Skip to main content

Who 's the Mean Kid, really?

Flown turbulent skies and bumpy air clouds?

That's how the past couple of weeks have been like for me while dealing with my five year old Adi. Still, I've got to admit that I love every moment that I spend with my son. It's like going through a roller coaster ride because temperamentally, we are opposites. He is fiery and I am serene. He is stubborn and I give in easily. He is very unpredictable and well, i am not....i could go on actually.....but you got what I am saying, right?

Well, in the last two weeks, Adi and I - this is a mom's hunch of course - have become a lot more closer than before. He seems to intuitively understand my thoughts and feelings. He accompanies me when I go for my evening walks. That is a fantastic time when he tells me his little secrets and I tell him mine. We have these 'adult to adult' conversation and I really feel that it brings us closer when I stop treating him like a kid. 

Today, he was running after and calling one kid, repeatedly. This kid stays on the ground floor and has a habit of ignoring Adi whenever Adi calls him. This has been irritating me for a while and I just let it go. But this evening, Adi went rushing after him calling him and this little guy didnt even look in his direction and totally ignored him. I felt angry because he has been doing this to Adi several times.

Just after Adi and I came back home, this little guy comes home and calls Adi. A delighted Adi runs off to play with him.

When Adi came back and told me he had had a great time, I said, "What kind of a friend do you have? He doesnt even acknowledge you whenever you call him and now when he wants, he calls you. He is a mean friend. I don't want you to be friends with such kids. He is mean and selfish and rude."

Adi looks at me and says very firmly, "Amma, you can't talk about my friend like that, ok?He is my friend and you should not say that about my friend."

Something in his voice stopped me in my tracks. I thought to myself - why ami nagging my son for something so silly? I was behaving like a mean kid! Adi, on the other hand, was handling it with more maturity. 

That moment, I told Adi, "Look, I am sorry. I didnt like your friend but you are right. I shouldnt say bad things to you about your friend. Sorry."

Adi was happy. I had got his point. Sometimes, we see our mistakes too late. I don't want that to happen with me. If I make mistakes, I want to be aware of it so that I don't repeat them again.

Comments

Anupama K. Mazumder said…
Very cute narration.. and its so lovely as a child grows.

I have a friend for whom I would die, but he wouldn't bother to check my well being. I wonder why, look for justifications myself, but wouldnt hear a wrong word about him ever.

Adi has realized this at such a tender age.
May 25, 2011 at 2:10 AM
R's Mom said…
Wow Adi has the mind of a 50 year old in a 5 year body..please hug him and tell him that his 29 year old aunty donest have so much maturity...btw you are tagged check my blog post on mommyhood lessons
May 25, 2011 at 12:34 PM
Swapna Raghu Sanand said…
@Anupama Thanks! It's understandable --- your feelings about your friend as long as it doesn't stop you from being happy and doing what you want to do.

R's Mom - Thanks a ton. Will be thinking seriously about what to write as mommyhood lessons!
May 26, 2011 at 11:02 PM
R. Ramesh said…
poor anupama..dont worry friend..v r there with u..:) good one this.
May 26, 2011 at 11:07 PM
Harish P I said…
I think kids are more matured and just than us by default. may be its us spoiling them.
May 27, 2011 at 11:41 AM
Swapna Raghu Sanand said…
@Harish - Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Guess its a combination of several factors, including what you've just said. Hope to have you back on this blog soon.
May 30, 2011 at 3:52 AM
Post a Comment

Most Popular Posts

The Ugly Truth about Caste in Kerala

Many years ago, when I wrote this post on Kerala's caste system, I had not considered that people would start sending in abusive comments about one caste over the other. It baffles me that this is how Indians, all of us, continue to judge each other on account of caste differences.  [ READ: Guru Kripa: Powerful Lessons at the Lotus Feet ] My question is - why do you ABUSE any caste or community? I suggest that you read about the lives of great Masters and their stories - none of them judged anyone on the basis of caste.  You can read the life stories of Sri Adi Shankara Bhagawadpada, Tulsidas, Jnaneshwar, Namadev, Sri Aurobindo, Sri Ramakrishna, Swami Paramahansa Yogananda, Shirdi Sai Baba, and many more Gurus in Sanathana Dharma. NONE of them endorse these caste hierarchies in Bhakti Marga. Assuming that Guru Sampradaya does not appeal to your sensibilities, do read this  new book 'Ants among Elephants' written by Sujatha Gidla, who writes about herself as being bor...
180 comments
Read more

How do you light Deepam at home?

How do you light deepam at home? As a child, I loved watching the ritual of my grandmother lighting the deepam or the traditional lamp at home in the evenings. A sense of serenity accompanied her frail figure as she would carefully straighten every wick, dip it into the tiny puddle of oil and light the lamp. As my grandmother would read out the scriptures and chant the prayers, the fragrance of incense sticks and flowers added depth to the experience. In many Hindu homes nowadays, the lighting of the lamp (or the nilavilakku, as Malayalis refer to the traditional lamp in their homes) is not a regular practice. A lot of people have many questions around how to light deepam at home and which oil to use and so on. An important point to keep in mind - Maintain physical cleanliness and hygiene while lighting the lamp. Wear clean clothes while lighting the lamp. Frequently Asked Questions About Lighting Deepam at Home Collating most queries related to how to light the deepam at home, I'v...
1 comment
Read more

Gayatri Mantra as Panchamukhi: Get it right or let it go

Most people do not understand the importance of chanting the Gayatri mantra because they are not aware of its power. It is only when I began to read Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba's teachings that I learned how sacred and powerful the chanting of the Gayatri mantra is.    The Vedas represent the breath of God. The Gayatri mantra is the very basis of the Vedas. Try not to undertake chanting the Gayatri mantra as a light endeavor or as a hobby. It has to be chanted with faith, discipline and purity of mind and body. Be steady with your sadhana if you want to reap the spiritual dividend associated with the Gayatri mantra  and never once hesitate once you decide to do it.  Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba said that the Gayatri Mantra is referred to as Pancha Mukhi, the Goddess with five faces that represent the five pranas or life forces. Here's more on it. .  Also read: The Power of OM   Chant the Gayatri Mantra correctly: Pause Five Times Here a...
39 comments
Read more

Amazing Signs You are an Earth Angel

Doreen Virtue’s book, “Assertiveness for Earth Angels” brings to life the reality of Earth Angels in very easy way. It’s an exciting must-read!   Enjoyed reading this? Then,  do subscribe to my Substack newsletter! Who are Earth Angels? Earth Angels have amazing superpowers in: Music Arts Writing Healing Manifesting miracles for others such as controlling weather conditions and  becoming invisible at will. How to Identify Earth Angels by their Traits To know whether you are an Earth Angel, take a look at their known traits that are explained in this book: You have a graceful and compassionate aura that inspires people . Your presence “lifts” everyone to happier spirits – it is proof of who you really are. You don’t judge others but you overdo the “acceptance” bit. So, you tolerate even those who show no respect for boundaries. You cannot stand anyone suffering or being in pain. You are constantly “rescuing people” because it...
23 comments
Read more

Saree Woes 2

Our earlier discussion on Saree Woes really perked up my spirits. A big thanks to all of you for pepping me up. Okay, here's the good news. There was an unexpected late night party that I had to attend in Gurgaon. To be honest, I haven't had the time or energy to attend any such parties after Adi was born. I was sure I wouldn't have the confidence to make conversation with the glitterati, let alone feel confident to carry off wearing a saree. This is one of those parties where you have to be dressed very formally. Well, at the end of a working woman's day, you hardly feel ready to attend one of these parties looking like a moron, right? So, with very little preparation and very few hours left, I called on all the gods in Heaven to help me look a little younger and prettier since I don't have the magic to look young all on my own. Although I was tempted to wear one of my awesome Kancheevaram treasures, I knew it would be very difficult to drape it without any h...
33 comments
Read more