This Beautiful Life

The year 2014, when it first began to unfold, promised me nothing and gave me no reason to hope. Fortunately, 2014 isn't anything like I expected it to be. 

In 2013, I felt a hundred years old, really. I expected to feel worse at the beginning of the new year. But funny thing is, I didn't. 

At a professional level, this has been my best year. At a personal level, I have begun to protect my fence of happiness and growth. I am not letting in people who make me feel negative about myself. The need to be surrounded by those who care and love me has outweighed everything else this year and yes, it has paid off in a big way. 

I feel as though I can take on the world and conquer it with just a smile.  I would also like to believe that my best years have just begun as amazing, beautiful things are happening in my life.

My new home is slowly getting ready and should be ready early next year. You know, it's a really small space in terms of square feet but the view is amazing. One rainy morning, I went to that site, conquered my fears of slipping way down into a cavern below and found the courage to climb through some very rough terrain to experience the view of my new home.

What I saw filled me with such joy and pleasure - I have no words. Thank you, God - but can you please speed up the process a bit? I am SO excited and eager to move into a new beginning in my life.

Yet in my heart, that's my dream home and it means everything to me. 

Then, in my personal life - I don't want to talk about the changes there because, well, it's too personal. But all I can say is this: the angels are protectively guiding me, the spirit guides are nudging me to do what brings me happiness and  I have begun to write with a natural tempo after many, many years of block.

I sat down and began to look over my previously published writings without any sense of attachment to the words. Instantly, I knew what I could have done better. Yet I felt better and not worse. Becoming older is helping me to find my voice and place as a writer. I do not deny my age. 

But what I feel differently now is that as I grow older, I feel more beautiful and divine from within - my soul is radiant and shining forth with an illumination that is helping me to see a bigger picture of where I want to be.

Here's a quote from Brene Brown that inspires me:

Nothing has transformed my life more than realizing that it's a waste of time to evaluate my worthiness by weighing the reaction of the people in the stands. The people who love me will be there regardless of the outcome within arm's reach. This realization changed everything.

More than anything else, I have begun to dream and to hope with an abandon that is poetic. And yes, my life is an ebbing sea ahead of me. 

But at sunset, the sea  is full of grandeur, splendor and looks most enchanting as it dies with the sun and for me, I know that is truly my moment of glory, fleeting though it may be.

Life's beautiful. I am grateful for it to God, my dearest family and closest friends every day.