Skip to main content

To Him, Whom I love

The first time I saw Him, I had a letter clutched in my palm. I was eleven or twelve years old. He ignored me and did not accept my letter.

He took my heart instead.



Loving Him is enough – the ultimate experience in my last sojourn of this life.

So many reasons to love Him:

He is my best friend, the one whom I share every secret and emotion with.

He laughs at my fears and says lovingly, “Why fear when I am here?”

He has stood by me and showed me that nothing is lost when one’s life falls apart or when one’s trust in humanity crumbles. 

He alone helped me see that God is Love and that in our veins that same love runs like an invisible channel waiting to be channelized into the Universe.

He taught me that my pain is nothing but an inevitable awakening from the Universe – an awakening of love, compassion and awareness.

Even in the midst of bone chilling pain, His smile appeared to me, He made jokes that I found myself smiling at and I found the courage not to crumble, cry or ask “Why me?” 

Instead I said, “How can you joke at a time like this?” He patted my head and said, “You need to smile more through these tests, that’s why.” He has an amazing sense of timing, pranks and humor but few people know it.

He gives me love, courage and unconditional protection. He is my Super Hero.

And if I maybe allowed to make a wish today, it is always this -  May my final thoughts be of you - may I finally find my way back to you – the origin of my Being and may I say your name alone and none other with the last drumming of my heart beat.

[Today is April 24th – the Samadhi day of my God and Guru. This is my most humble offering at the lotus feet of Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba]

Comments

Anonymous said…
I can feel the depth of your love and respect towards him...
Tanmi Gold said…
Like you mentioned, from my personal experience I learned that when one’s life falls apart and when one’s trust in humanity crumbles - that is when our real self is born. We discover a new self who's ready to explore the other, better side of world. :)
So beautifully written... It makes me feel as if I am speaking to myself... I share all your feelings and thoughts Swapna and it felt so soothing and refreshing to read through this piece (peace). Thank you.
@Anonymous: Thank you.

@TanmiGold: Good point. It is an awakening of the Self indeed.

@Aravind Balasubramanya: Grateful and thank you so much. I asked Swami for a sign whether he liked this post or not. Hours later, I read your comment and I felt that this is His message. Thank you for the divine affirmation, Brother Aravind. This means a lot to me.

Most LOVED Posts

The Ugly Truth about Caste in Kerala

Many years ago, when I wrote this post on Kerala's caste system, I had not considered that people would start sending in abusive comments about one caste over the other. It baffles me that this is how Indians, all of us, continue to judge each other on account of caste differences.  [ READ: Guru Kripa: Powerful Lessons at the Lotus Feet ] My question is - why do you ABUSE any caste or community? I suggest that you read about the lives of great Masters and their stories - none of them judged anyone on the basis of caste.  You can read the life stories of Sri Adi Shankara Bhagawadpada, Tulsidas, Jnaneshwar, Namadev, Sri Aurobindo, Sri Ramakrishna, Swami Paramahansa Yogananda, Shirdi Sai Baba, and many more Gurus in Sanathana Dharma. NONE of them endorse these caste hierarchies in Bhakti Marga. Assuming that Guru Sampradaya does not appeal to your sensibilities, do read this  new book 'Ants among Elephants' written by Sujatha Gidla, who writes about herself as being bor...

Best time to light diya

Want to know when is the best time to light diya or deepam at home? In most Hindu homes, 'deepam' or 'diya' is lit at least twice - once in the morning and then in the evening. For both times, brass is considered to be auspicious for lighting deepam or lamp at home. Clay diyas are also considered auspicious for lighting at home. When lighting diyas on Fridays, it is better to use ghee than oil, if possible. [ Connect with Svara on Facebook ] [Read: Vidyarambham - The Labyrinth Within] When Should I Start Lighting Diyas? The symbolic shift begins from darkess to light. Therefore, in the evenings, light diya before sunset to usher in divine blessings into your home. At what time should we light diya today? Every morning at sunrise and every evening before or at sunset. An ideal time would be to light the diya at least half an hour before sunset. Can we light diya after 12 PM? In Hindu homes, the diya is lit early morning at around sunrise and towards evening sunset. Can ...

Saree Woes 2

Our earlier discussion on Saree Woes really perked up my spirits. A big thanks to all of you for pepping me up. Okay, here's the good news. There was an unexpected late night party that I had to attend in Gurgaon. To be honest, I haven't had the time or energy to attend any such parties after Adi was born. I was sure I wouldn't have the confidence to make conversation with the glitterati, let alone feel confident to carry off wearing a saree. This is one of those parties where you have to be dressed very formally. Well, at the end of a working woman's day, you hardly feel ready to attend one of these parties looking like a moron, right? So, with very little preparation and very few hours left, I called on all the gods in Heaven to help me look a little younger and prettier since I don't have the magic to look young all on my own. Although I was tempted to wear one of my awesome Kancheevaram treasures, I knew it would be very difficult to drape it without any h...

Does something bad happen if the diya goes off?

Is it bad if a diya goes off? This is a frequently asked question among people who light the evening lamp or diya regularly in their puja room.  [READ: How To Light Deepam at Home and  Why Malayalis Light Nilavilaku ]                                                     [Image by Sachin Yadav @ Pixabay] Why Did My Lamp Suddenly Turn Off? Where there is faith, there should be no scope for fear - this is Bhagawan Krishna's message to Arjun on the battlefield of Kurukshetra.  That represents strength of Bhakti. [READ: Bhakti: Meera's Greatest Wealth] Consider another example in the tradition of Bhakti.  When Prahlada, a young lad, is targeted by his own father, he remains calm under every situation. When he is thrown into the sea, the wise lad is reminded that the sea is the abode of Shriman Narayana. [ READ: Amazing Stories of Lord Shiva ] H...

Gayatri Mantra as Panchamukhi: Get it right or let it go

Most people do not understand the importance of chanting the Gayatri mantra because they are not aware of its power. It is only when I began to read Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba's teachings that I learned how sacred and powerful the chanting of the Gayatri mantra is.   [Subscribe to my weekly newsletter now]   The Vedas represent the breath of God. The Gayatri mantra is the very basis of the Vedas. Try not to undertake chanting the Gayatri mantra as a light endeavor or as a hobby. It has to be chanted with faith, discipline and purity of mind and body. Be steady with your sadhana if you want to reap the spiritual dividend associated with the Gayatri mantra  and never once hesitate once you decide to do it.  Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba said that the Gayatri Mantra is referred to as Pancha Mukhi, the Goddess with five faces that represent the five pranas or life forces. Here's more on it. .  Also read: The Power of OM  and Dark Night of the Sou...