Skip to main content

Jealousy: Why do we feel it?

A funny thing happened. A friend whom I don't particularly like or get along with shared a link on Facebook that I had intended to share. It irked me. Made me angry. Somewhat jealous. This probably sounds ridiculous to someone as sensible as you. In fact, it sounds downright cheesy to me. I mean, I am not some one who gets jealous over material things. I always consider myself to be at peace from within. And to think that I got jealous over the sharing of a link! Ridiculous!  [READ: What are Tantric Practices? Find out!] 

Unforgivable. I feel so bad about this. I have always steered clear of jealousy. Because it blurs clarity and dilutes a person's focus. Then why did I feel jealous? Why do we become jealous? 

I thought it over. Seriously. Because I am not the jealous type and i had to understand why I felt jealous for a few fleeting seconds.

When I contemplated on this, this is what I could logically come up with:

“You can only be jealous of someone who has something you think you ought to have yourself.” ? Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid's Tale.

True words! When you love something, someone or some form of writing, you turn possessive about it because it is special to you or you feel a sense of ownership with it. It could even be a book, a column or a blog you love and develop an attachment to. So, when some one else shares it, you can't stand it because you feel a territorial/intellectual/emotional ownership over it.

This makes sense to me. But I don't know if you feel the same way. And I want an honest answer because I am being honest with you.

So, tell me: Do you ever get jealous? If yes, what about? How do you handle it? HELP: Give me some useful advice!
Labels:

Comments

Paresh Palicha said…
Swapna, do I need to tell you that there are lots of things in this world for me to be jealous of :P But, as you said it blurs clarity, so you put blinkers and focus on things under your control.

And, there are fleeting moments when it surges up from somewhere deep inside (mostly for silly reasons). I try to be aware & observant of it, not letting possess me for long & let it pass. :) without much disturbance.
December 11, 2013 at 10:13 PM
Swapna Raghu Sanand said…
Reading your comment made me smile and I am feeling so much better already. See, the power of positive words? Thanks, Paresh!
December 12, 2013 at 10:15 PM
Anonymous said…
What i feel is, jealousy is a sort of feeling which we get when we feel possessive for something... Especially when the other person do the things in the same way we do... It is fine with the materialistic things and we should agree that it happens sometimes and move on...
When it comes to the matter of relationship, we find people with different mentalities.
1. People who feel jealous when their partner/lover move friendly with the opposite gender.
2. People who agree that its quite natural and there is nothing wrong to be friendly with the other gender.
3. People who does friendship with the opposite gender and restrict their partner from doing so. (im a 19 year girl, who faced it many times)
Finally what i want to say is, there may be many reasons for the lovers to get separated but what i feel is, the main reason is lack of understanding... and the people of 1st and 3rd kind may get separated only with the reason of jealousy...
December 13, 2013 at 2:52 PM
Anonymous said…
I feel exactly the same way.jealousy eats us from inside..but the best thing u can do to take care of that guilt feeling is to pray for them
June 2, 2015 at 1:25 PM
ChandranMethil said…
I am not sure whether you are into any form of spirituality. There is a certain thing called the "EGO".Some spiritualists call it the "I-thought"(Ramana Maharshi).The layman thinks that a person's ego is a "chip" on one's shoulder.However,the Ego is a mechanism for self preservation. Without an ego,one will not have an inclination to even cook and consume a meal.Jealousy is part and parcel of this mechanism.Your Ego is threatened when your desire is thwarted.Jealousy is part of the four cardinal sins which block clarity:-Anger,Greed,Egotism and Lust for power and sex.When these emotions arise,try to understand their cause and your reaction. Once the cause is thoroughly understood and your reactions analysed,you are on your way to knock them off........with much practice of course. This is the ancient Socratic method of "KNOW THYSELF"
March 18, 2016 at 2:50 AM
Post a Comment

Most LOVED Posts

Best time to light diya

Want to know when is the best time to light diya or deepam at home? In most Hindu homes, 'deepam' or 'diya' is lit at least twice - once in the morning and then in the evening. For both times, brass is considered to be auspicious for lighting deepam or lamp at home. Clay diyas are auspicious for lighting at home. On Fridays, it is considered auspicious to use ghee in a silver lamp. When Should I Start Lighting Diyas? The symbolic shift begins from darkess to light. Therefore, in the evenings, light diya before sunset to usher in divine blessings into your home. Can we light diya with sunflower oil? No, do not use sunflower oil for lighting diya. Can I use cooking oil to light diya? No, you should not use cooking oil to light diya. Which oil to use for daily diya? Use sesame or gingelly oil for daily diya. What to burn in a diya? Use ghee or sesame oil or mustard oil. Can we put coconut oil in diya? Yes, you can put coconut oil in diya. Which deepam oil is best for poo...
Post a Comment
Read more

Does something bad happen if the diya goes off?

Is it bad if a diya goes off? This is a frequently asked question among people who light the evening lamp or diya regularly in their puja room. Cultivating the attitude 'Everything is Divine Prasad', which embodies Prasada Bhakti , is a good way to minimise negative thoughts with regard to one's way of worship.  When we light the lamp in our homes, imagine you are sending out divine love to the world.  When you burn the incense stick, imagine you are burning away all negative karma within each family member and offering it before your Ishta Devata. [READ: How To Light Deepam at Home and  Why Malayalis Light Nilavilaku ]                                                     [Image by Sachin Yadav @ Pixabay] What Happens When A Diya Goes Off? Many consider it as a 'bad omen'. For a devotee who worships Ishta Devata, everything represents Divine Gra...
Post a Comment
Read more

How To Light Diya: Big Mistakes To Avoid

Wondering how to properly light a diya? What are some common mistakes to avoid while lighting diya at home? As a child, I used to watch my grandmother light the Nilavilakku or the traditional lamp at home. Back then, I didn't understand its deeper significance. [READ: Why Malayalis Light Nilavilakku ] Lighting a diya or a lamp embodies our inner journey from darkness to light. T he transition represents a deep metaphysical truth: the triumph of light over darkness. Are you lighting your diyas wrong? Use these tips! [Source: Pexels.com] How To Properly Light A Diya At Home 1. Never place your diya or lamp on the floor to light it in your pooja room. Keep a Thaali/Plate under it. You can keep a small brass plate under the lamp. Don't use that Thaali/Plate for any other purpose once you use it for this purpose. 2. Don't put your diya or lamp in any place where it is not clean earlier. Before you place the diya or lamp, make sure ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Ugly Truth about Caste in Kerala

Many years ago, when I wrote this post on Kerala's caste system, I had not considered that people would start sending in abusive comments about one caste over the other. It baffles me that this is how Indians, all of us, continue to judge each other on account of caste differences.  [ READ: Guru Kripa: Powerful Lessons at the Lotus Feet ] My question is - why do you ABUSE any caste or community? I suggest that you read about the lives of great Masters and their stories - none of them judged anyone on the basis of caste.  You can read the life stories of Sri Adi Shankara Bhagawadpada, Tulsidas, Jnaneshwar, Namadev, Sri Aurobindo, Sri Ramakrishna, Swami Paramahansa Yogananda, Shirdi Sai Baba, and many more Gurus in Sanathana Dharma. NONE of them endorse these caste hierarchies in Bhakti Marga. Assuming that Guru Sampradaya does not appeal to your sensibilities, do read this  new book 'Ants among Elephants' written by Sujatha Gidla, who writes about herself as being bor...
181 comments
Read more

Gayatri Mantra as Panchamukhi: Get it right or let it go

Most people do not understand the importance of chanting the Gayatri mantra because they are not aware of its power. It is only when I began to read Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba's teachings that I learned how sacred and powerful the chanting of the Gayatri mantra is.   [Subscribe to my weekly newsletter now]   The Vedas represent the breath of God. The Gayatri mantra is the very basis of the Vedas. Try not to undertake chanting the Gayatri mantra as a light endeavor or as a hobby. It has to be chanted with faith, discipline and purity of mind and body. Be steady with your sadhana if you want to reap the spiritual dividend associated with the Gayatri mantra  and never once hesitate once you decide to do it.  Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba said that the Gayatri Mantra is referred to as Pancha Mukhi, the Goddess with five faces that represent the five pranas or life forces. Here's more on it. .  Also read: The Power of OM  and Dark Night of the Sou...
40 comments
Read more