There are some people whose life feels so precious, perhaps because of the closeness and love which one feels towards them or their own contribution to transforming our lives in a remarkable way, Shivam has been one such experience in my life.
I love and miss Shivam deeply, more than words can say and with more frequency than my heart beat.
Many Indian myths say that a good soul that has passed away can be seen by the loved ones through a twinkling star in the sky. More than belief in the myth, it is for my own solace that I look to the night sky to find such a twinkling star. The stars in my eyes turn into something that resembles rain when I think of him and all that could have been.
Tonight, I will not cry for Shivam. He has seen too much of it in the last two years.
Tonight, far from the skies, I want Shivam to see my smile. In a way, beyond the sky and the stars and the logic of life-death, it is God who decides life and death. We, mere mortals who can go to the moon and live there, will still not be able to grapple with the weight of some inexplicable decisions that are a part of divine will.