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Learning Compassion: How to share with others

As I look back at my life, I realize that the most valuable teachings of my life came to me from my mother. She is a very quiet person, but also the wisest and strongest person I know. She has an aura and a calm, full of grace sort of poise that makes me feel very clumsy and silly when I am in her presence. There are many things that I love about her, like how even now she loves to sort out my tangled tresses with infinite patience while I tug it away from her. But my favorite memory comes in the shape of the daily lunch box she packed for me when I was in Class 4.

[Do read: 5 Ways to Take Charge of Your Anger]

                                             [Source: Pexels.com]

One day, she noticed that my Tiffin was polished clean. Knowing well that I rarely eat everything in the lunchbox, she asked me about the children I eat with and got to know that I share lunch with three girls and one girl offers to finish off when I am unable to. She asked what this girl brings in her tiffin and I said that she doesn't usually bring any lunch box because she isn't hungry like the rest of us.

From the following day, she made sure to pack two tiffins - one for me and the other for my friend. No questions were asked, nothing was stated but I could always sense a glimmer of excitement and happiness in my mother's eyes when both tiffins came back empty. I also saw in my friend's eyes a strange expression - gratitude. Every time I quietly passed the lunch box to her, she would look at me with adoring eyes and a grateful expression. Yet we never spoke of the extra lunchbox. It was our secret, a rather delicious one.

But that was not the ''end'' - it was rather a beginning for my mother. Over the years, I have seen her take upon herself the education of many children and pay for all their expenses till college and enroll them for courses that they want but cannot afford. She wouldn't rest till she made sure they had found a livelihood to take them forward. Some remember her and come back to thank her, but most forget to come back. 

When I ask her how she feels about that, she waves me off, "Why would I keep an account of these things? When we do something good for others, we are doing it for ourselves, the divine self, with God's grace. I don't keep an account of it, let God do that instead."

Sometimes, I see that there are children who look eagerly when people open their food, sometimes there are elderly people too. Be it in school, campuses, workplaces, people eat all the time but rarely offer to share. Walk into a hospital and you would notice that there are young people who grab seats while the elderly and the sick remain standing. Be it in queues or airline counters or buses, young people have no hesitation to remain seated and not offer their seat to pregnant women, mothers with babies or the elderly. 

It makes me wonder, "Where are we heading to when we let go of being human? What is the point of so much information and education when you choose to look the other way rather than treat people as real human beings in the first place?"

Look around you. Do you have real conversations happening around you? Or is everyone in a rush? It could be to get work done, to meet some one, make a presentation, figure out how to impress your boss or maybe a loved one? We are running away from our true selves in this maddening race and we forget about living and feeling like human beings do.

I grew up in wild and beautiful Africa, where people never rush to do anything. They believe that everything in life comes with a natural rhythm and when we interfere with the natural scheme of things, we bring chaos into the natural world.

Tribes eat and sing together. Their children grow up together, share clothes and toys. In the African society, a strong sense of community is fostered over and above the family. Every child has to share. 

Ask your child to share with any other kid - observe the reactions. Remember, the problem is not with the child. It is with the choices that we are making right now.

Increasingly, I also think of my mom's simple philosophy when I see people eating in public places or any space they feel comfortable, without a care for other people around them. I wonder whether my mother rightfully belongs to this world, where every ''like'' and ''share'' is counted, not in real life, but in the make-believe world of Facebook. [Do read: Does sincerity have any value in the world?]

This may sound really bizarre right now but I am glad that my mom is not on Facebook - she continues 'sharing' with real people in a real world instead.

If you have any such favorite moments that you hold close to your heart, do share it here.


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