Skip to main content

In the cookies of life, sisters are the chocolate chips

Time flies faster than we can imagine.  A little girl who is the ''music" of our home is now celebrating her birthday, continents apart. Her birthday is on January 6th and it brought back many sweet childhood memories. She is away from home but never far from our thoughts or my heart. 

Geethu and I, as sisters, grew up together and as most of those who know us already will know, we are absolute opposites but we complement each other in a beautiful way. But let me confess, growing up with a super intelligent kid who could breathe, think and talk science and maths like a pro was a traumatic experience for the older sibling - namely, me. It didn't help that she was also one of the best in all types of sports and we had no space to keep all the certificates and prizes she won for her school in different sports categories. Well, I spared my parents the trauma of having to store my certificates or trophies of glory by not having any...lol! 


What I think is most amazing is how my parents have never compared the two of us in any category but they have been quietly proud of the unique strengths we had, which in a strange way, complemented one another. 

Often, at PTMs and other social interactions, I see many young parents compare their children's strengths and weaknesses with other people in front of their kids. Siblings have feelings too when compared and I wish parents respected that. Of course, I am not a child expert here but I do know that I am glad my parents never did that to me.

As my sister and I grew older, our bond became stronger and more mature. We sought each other's opinions on everything that matters to us. We always had opposite opinions on most things, but that has never caused a dent in our relationship. 

Differences apart, there is also an unspoken code that runs true for us as it often does between most sisters - you mess with one, the other is out for your blood - don't even dream of being forgiven. 

I can take criticism about myself but the slightest criticism about my sister - you've had it and you've earned an unforgiving enemy for life. I am being very candid about this here. This is how I am and I think that this is how most sisters are when it comes to each other. 

Now, as we grow older and sillier, not any wiser with each other, we find ourselves sharing every little thing with each other. She has a practical, methodical approach to solving day-to-day challenges. Her time-management and planning skills are amazing. She starts her day as early as 3 AM and is very clear about what to get done at each time slot. We are each other's strongest critics and yet we are much crazier about each other's kids. My sister has the quirkiest sense of humor and the target is usually......well, me. She makes me laugh like no one else and she knows me best. 

I can't help saying that she also happens to be one of the very few people in my life whose love I take for granted. I know that no matter what I say or do, she will stick with me. 


Throughout the years, she has always stood by my decisions and when I went through some of the toughest tests in my life, she gave me the courage to believe that everything happens for a reason and while that reason may not be apparent, it is what will help us to grow and be strong.

My mother always used to long for a sister because there are many things that you can share only with a sister. She used to say that Geethu and I are so lucky to have each other. While we were growing up, we used to scowl every time she said this. But now we say this to our children because we want them to know that they are lucky to have each other and we want the bond between us to continue to grow through our children.

When Adi was born, Geethu's batchmates traveled all the way from Marthandam to Kochi just to see my son. They came as a group to stay at home and they were so overwhelmed to hold a newborn baby and I felt my heart burst with happiness because though I didn't know her friends well, they had undertaken a long journey and come all the way to welcome my baby.

I am still in touch with them because every relationship is sacred in our life and they have a special place in the journey of our hearts.

Life has taught me that people we expect nothing from surprise us all the time. For the same reason, I try very hard to nurture all relationships just as I have seen my father do. If he has helped ten people, probably one person remembers and the rest move on in life without even thanking him. I have seen him remain unperturbed by this. 

While I don't have my father's patience, I do understand that human nature is complex and that no matter how much we try, we always fall short in the eyes of another. You could help someone find a decent job that helps his/her family in a significant way and later find that same person work against you. How others behave is never in our control, how we behave is a reflection of our core human values and that is within our control.

I find that children are different from grown ups - they respond to love and attention, like a flower opens up to sunshine. This is why I want to talk to my niece every day - that she is a miniature replica of me puts me in a fun spot because I feel like I am talking to a facet of myself and having lots of fun! [Do read2016: The Year That Taught Me That Nothing is Impossible]



When my nephew Vihaan talks to me about his school and my niece Aishani calls out my name, every morning when I call her on Viber, I feel an ocean of love swell up within my heart. 

They are mine to love and cherish as much as they are my sister's.



And I tell Adi what my mother once told me, "You are blessed to have each other because this relationship is what will hold you to each other always."

I still miss the daily squabbles with my sister. But you know, it gets difficult to pick fights across continents.


"In the cookies of life, sisters are the chocolate chips."  — Whoever said that, you got it right!

Comments

Vishnu said…
Wow, what a testament of the love for your sister, Swapna :) I am not sure I could write a post like this about my 2 brothers ! : )
Krish Govardhan said…
Every word feels like its coming from your heart. All those memories and feelings, along with the quote fits in really nice.
I can't relate to this personally (Only Child!), but I know a few like you and your sister and honestly sometimes that makes people like us a little jealous!
Great title too!

Most Popular Posts

The Ugly Truth about Caste in Kerala

Many years ago, when I wrote this post on Kerala's caste system, I had not considered that I would receive such online abuse for writing this or that I would be seen as some one who was trying to insult other castes. The intention of writing is always to share an experience or a perspective, not to insult others.  My experience of motherhood and marriage would be different from yours. When I write about my experience, it is illogical to abuse me because our journeys are entirely different narratives. My life and yours are not the same at any given point of time.

My question is - why do you ABUSE any caste or person here? You are free to disagree but why do you ABUSE? How does that reflect on YOU?

In my article, I shared what trials I went through, without any intention to insult any community.A new book 'Ants among Elephants' written by Sujatha Gidla, who writes about herself as being born 'an untouchable in India' teaches you everything you probably want to know abo…

Mahamrityunjaya Mantra: Meaning, Benefit of Chanting and Who can Chant the Mantra

Mahadmrityunjaya Mantra: Benefit of chanting this mantra nee

There are very few mantras that are as powerful as the Maha Mrityunjaya Mantra. Do read my post: Does Mahamrityunajaya mantra really work?Of course, it does but you need to undertstand the meaning and significance of the mantra first.
This mantra is believed to have the power to remove all sufferings, diseases and bestow the one who chants it with good health and long life. It is also believed that constant contemplation of the Maha Mrityunjaya Mantra can help spiritual aspirants to overcome the cycle of birth and death.
What got me fascinated about this mantra is something personal.  I learned this mantra from my father but it is my maternal grandmother who chanted it all the time and repeatedly told me of its tremendous power to protect. However, I did not chant this mantra regularly. [ Do READ: THE POWER OF LOVE]
But at the age of two, my son was taught some mantras by my mother who explained what it means to him and he becam…

Amazing Signs You are an Earth Angel

Doreen Virtue’s book, “Assertiveness for Earth Angels” brings to life the reality of Earth Angels in very easy way. It’s an exciting must-read! 

[DO READ: The POWER OF LOVE]

Earth Angels have amazing superpowers in: MusicArtsWriting HealingManifesting miracles for others such as controlling weather conditions and  becoming invisible at will.
[MUST READ: A Dad's Advice to the Daughter He loves]
DO READ: ASK MORE, FEAR LESS.

How to Identify Earth Angels by their Traits
To know whether you are an Earth Angel, take a look at their known traits that are explained in this book:


You have a graceful and compassionate aura that inspires people.Your presence “lifts” everyone to happier spirits – it is proof of who you really are.You don’t judge others but you overdo the “acceptance” bit. So, you tolerate even those who show no respect for boundaries.You cannot stand anyone suffering or being in pain. You are constantly “rescuing people” because it is in your nature to want to see everyone happy in …

Mumbai Police Movie Review: Prithviraj breaks the typical 'hero' mold, challenges sexual stereotyping

Exploring a completely different dimension in his latest film Mumbai Police, Director Rosshan Anddrews delivers a fast-paced, thriller film after his award winning fims such as Udayananu Tharam, Notebook and others.



To flesh out the script written by Boby Sanjay, Rosshan Anddrews ropes in actors such as Prithviraj, Rahman and Jayasurya to portray three police officers: Antony Moses, Farhan and Aryan respectively.
The story begins with a phone call that Antony Moses (starring Prithviraj) makes to Farhan (starring Rahman) saying that he has solved the murder mystery of Aryan (starring Jayasurya). Just as he says this, there is an accident and Antony Moses loses his memory. From then, Farhan's attempt is to take Antony through people and places that are likely to trigger his memory so that they can solve the murder of their close friend and colleague Aryan. A series of events happen, almost hurtling us towards it.
And I am taking the liberty to hand out trophies for the following:
'M…

The Secret Wishlist by Preeti Shenoy

Have you ever been banished from your parents' good books because of a secret kiss when you were just sixteen?
Did you spend nearly all your life trying to win back the trust and approval of your parents for that one mistake you made?
Have you regretted your marriage that your parents rushed you into and you agreed out of sheer guilt? 
Have you ever made a secret wishlist with something like "have sex with someone other than husband" on it? 
Yes or no, don't miss reading Preeti Shenoy's recently released novel titled 'The Secret Wishlist.' 



From page one, you are bound to get pulled into Diksha's loveless marriage, her constant adjustments to Sandeep, a husband who expects everything to be done to suit his preference at all times and her need to feel valued as a person. There are so many instances when you would simply grit your teeth and wish that her boor of a husband would do something, anything, to just appreciate his wife. But no, that doesn't hap…

Power of Love

                  Love without a price tag, conditions attached or the fine print of debt 

At the age of five or six years, I told my Dad that I would never ever opt for an arranged marriage, especially the transactional ''bride seeing'' ceremony, where the bride is paraded around like a fancy showpiece before a bunch of curious strangers, who are more interested in how much gold she is wearing than her IQ.
Dad, being my ever patient, serene hero, just smiled that calm, soothing smile that some of you are already familiar with and he said, ''Sure, that's fine."
I was expecting a full flung family drama, a storm, maybe even being thrown out for the audacity of breaking the much-treasured family tradition. How dare a girl even say such a thing to her parents, right?
Nothing happened. Dad was so cool. Then it struck me - maybe I am adopted. That's why it doesn't matter so much to him. 
I did manage to summon the courage and ask Dad several times, "…

Five ways to take charge of your anger

“It is wise to direct your anger towards problems -- not people; to focus your energies on answers -- not excuses.” ― William Arthur Ward
Every day, the newspaper headlines are full of scary stories of people killing each other over trivial things - mostly these incidents happen when individuals lose their temper and turn violent. In traffic jams across Noida in the evenings, people don't hesitate to walk out and hit each other.  At workplaces, colleagues lose their temper and say things that they regret later. During holidays with loved ones, small things set us off and we say things that damage relationships forever. No one stops anyone. Everyone likes a big, bad fight. It's great to vent. After all, what's the big deal about getting angry? After all, if you cannot express what pisses you off, how can you call yourself human? 


Does anger solve your problems? You know the answer!

If anger solved all the problems in the world, this world would have been a perfect place centur…

Book Review: Mini Sukumaran Nair's B3/703, Gulmohar Park portrays a haunting descent into the vulnerability of childhood

There are books that blaze into your thoughts and here's a book that definitely stayed within me even after weeks of reading it, With its blazing red flower cover, Mini Sukumaran Nair's novel B3/703, Gulmohar Park, caught my attention in a bookshop. As a child, I grew up reading the books of Enid Blyton, RK Narayan and Anita Desai. Mini Sukumaran Nair's refreshing narrative brought back bittersweet memories of those growing up years. Right from the first page, I felt like I could curl up with this heartwarming novel. And just in case you are wondering, this isn't a novel that was sent to me for review nor do I know the author or its publisher. I just loved the book, that's it!


This heartwarming tale of childhood, family drama and tragic upheavals is narrated from the perspective of a little girl called Madhura, whose mother Vani is a maid in the home of an affluent Punjabi family and later on, through the perspective of her mother's employers, Avantika and Siris…

Book Review: When the Chief fell in Love by Tuhin A Sinha portrays second chances and forbidden love in Kashmir

Tuhin A Sinha's novel, When the Chief Fell in Love plays upon second chances to bring two of the most unlikely individuals to come into each other lives, with a big 'political' bang! In life and in love, second chances are rare, more so when two individuals who are married to others, fall in love with each other. The consequences are unlikely to be happy but this love story demolishes conventional myths in the typical love story narratives we often read. 




Seen through the eyes of lovers, there can be no greater paradise than Kashmir, which is why India's youngest Defence Minister Vihaan finally comes back to solve problems of a troubled state that is rife with political disturbances.

Given the violent times we live in, imagine the perils of a love story that involves the country's Defence Minister and the daughter of a separatist leader.  It sounds inconceivable. And that is exactly the myth the young Defence Minister Vihaan strives to demolish in his journeys to Kas…

Meaning of Maha Shivaratri: Significance of Tripurandaka, Vibhuti and Gangaajal

Maha Shivaratri is a festival of great spiritual significance to Hindus. Prayers are undertaken by devotees throughout the night. Yet how many of us understand what makes it a holy occasion? It doesn't have anyt marketing jazz or feel-great frenzy to it like many other festivals. Yet Maha Shivaratri is one of the most spiritually powerful festivals you just shouldn't miss.
According to Hindu scriptures, observing night long prayer has been declared by Lord Shiva himself. This is cited as His answer when Parvati Devi asked him which rituals performed by his devotees pleases him most. It is also believed that those who observe Maha Shivratri correctly will be greatly blessed and that they will attain moksha.



Here are some interesting points to explain the spiritual significance of Maha Shivaratri, .taken from various discourses rendered by Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba.
1. Shiva means 'auspiciousness.' Maha Shivaratri should be spent in the constant contemplation of God.

2. A…