Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Jealousy: Why do we feel it?

A funny thing happened. A friend whom I don't particularly like or get along with shared a link on Facebook that I had intended to share. It irked me. Made me angry. Somewhat jealous. This probably sounds ridiculous to someone as sensible as you. In fact, it sounds downright cheesy to me. I mean, I am not some one who gets jealous over material things. I always consider myself to be at peace from within. And to think that I got jealous over the sharing of a link! Ridiculous!

Unforgivable. I feel so bad about this. I have always steered clear of jealousy. Because it blurs clarity and dilutes a person's focus. Then why did I feel jealous? Why do we become jealous? 

I thought it over. Seriously. Because I am not the jealous type and i had to understand why I felt jealous for a few fleeting seconds.

When I contemplated on this, this is what I could logically come up with:

“You can only be jealous of someone who has something you think you ought to have yourself.” ? Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid's Tale

True words! When you love something, someone or some form of writing, you turn possessive about it because it is special to you or you feel a sense of ownership with it. It could even be a book, a column or a blog you love and develop an attachment to. So, when some one else shares it, you can't stand it because you feel a territorial/intellectual/emotional ownership over it.

This makes sense to me. But I don't know if you feel the same way. And I want an honest answer because I am being honest with you.

So, tell me: Do you ever get jealous? If yes, what about? How do you handle it? HELP: Give me some useful advice! 

♥♥  I thank you with all my heart for reading my post. I dedicate this post with love and gratitude to all those who are finding their own ways to tackle their inner conflicts. REQUEST: Please SHARE this article on your favorite social networks. Every share, like or tweet makes me reach out to more people who are in various phases of overcoming their conflicts. I am grateful and I appreciate you for doing so. ♥♥

9 comments:

Paresh Palicha said...

Swapna, do I need to tell you that there are lots of things in this world for me to be jealous of :P But, as you said it blurs clarity, so you put blinkers and focus on things under your control.

And, there are fleeting moments when it surges up from somewhere deep inside (mostly for silly reasons). I try to be aware & observant of it, not letting possess me for long & let it pass. :) without much disturbance.

Swapna Raghu Sanand said...

Reading your comment made me smile and I am feeling so much better already. See, the power of positive words? Thanks, Paresh!

Anonymous said...

What i feel is, jealousy is a sort of feeling which we get when we feel possessive for something... Especially when the other person do the things in the same way we do... It is fine with the materialistic things and we should agree that it happens sometimes and move on...
When it comes to the matter of relationship, we find people with different mentalities.
1. People who feel jealous when their partner/lover move friendly with the opposite gender.
2. People who agree that its quite natural and there is nothing wrong to be friendly with the other gender.
3. People who does friendship with the opposite gender and restrict their partner from doing so. (im a 19 year girl, who faced it many times)
Finally what i want to say is, there may be many reasons for the lovers to get separated but what i feel is, the main reason is lack of understanding... and the people of 1st and 3rd kind may get separated only with the reason of jealousy...

Anonymous said...

I feel exactly the same way.jealousy eats us from inside..but the best thing u can do to take care of that guilt feeling is to pray for them

ChandranMethil said...

I am not sure whether you are into any form of spirituality. There is a certain thing called the "EGO".Some spiritualists call it the "I-thought"(Ramana Maharshi).The layman thinks that a person's ego is a "chip" on one's shoulder.However,the Ego is a mechanism for self preservation. Without an ego,one will not have an inclination to even cook and consume a meal.Jealousy is part and parcel of this mechanism.Your Ego is threatened when your desire is thwarted.Jealousy is part of the four cardinal sins which block clarity:-Anger,Greed,Egotism and Lust for power and sex.When these emotions arise,try to understand their cause and your reaction. Once the cause is thoroughly understood and your reactions analysed,you are on your way to knock them off........with much practice of course. This is the ancient Socratic method of "KNOW THYSELF"

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