people speak highly of Kerala’s highly famous ‘matriarchal’ system that enabled
the daughters of the family to enjoy, own and manage their family property
without any interference from the men folk. The culture of celebrating the
birth of a girl child is perhaps another indication of how ‘advanced’ Kerala’s
society had always been when it came to empowering the women folk. Honestly, I
believe it’s ‘crap’!
People boast this about Kerala but even in the most educated families, it is the birth of a boy child that is eagerly awaited and boasted of. But a boy and a girl are not socially treated as equals even in the so-called egalitarian matriarchal system. All my life, I have heard many Keralites saying to my mother, “Oh no, you have two daughters and no sons!” with such sympathy that I'd love to whack the smiles off their faces! So, yes, outwardly, I have come to believe that many Keralites celebrate the birth of daughters…other people’s daughters, to be more sarcastic. The social hypocrisy of this falsely, glorified system sucks! Seriously, what is the point of such hypocrisy? I don’t know. Or does being the recipient of such social hypocrisy make me less objective in my approach to this issue? Again, I don't know.
Framework of Kerala’s Matriarchal System
Having been born and brought up within this framework of this glorified, false ‘matriarchal’ system that is prevalent in Kerala, I find this label of ‘matriarchal’ system choking my conscience.
Why, I ask myself. Because I am fed up of the pretence of the so called, ridiculous ‘matriarchal’ system that has no relevance to most Menon women. The system exists on paper and in tradition but in practice, the system does not and has not existed for decades. It has been misused beyond words and no one wants to rake it up because it is timeless issue that is knotted up in the name of traditions.
Purpose of Kerala’s Glorified Matriarchal System
One obvious reason was to create a smokescreen of sorts to escape accountability.
This matriarchal system was and remains the smokescreen that helps to portray women as owners of the family property but it was always managed by the menfolk in the family. The men folk were either the uncles or older brothers who would don the role of legal guardians. By womenfolk, the traditional matriarchal system of the Menons pertains to the daughters of the family and their children.
This reduced chances of conflict or getting into legal disputes to a great extent because the conservative society always hesitates to drag women into any legal or property dispute. Also, which daughter or sister would take an uncle or brother to court alleging misuse of property or wealth? They reckoned wisely: almost none. They are right, aren’t they?
In fact, to ensure the womenfolk and their property rights are not challenged by the men who marry them, they devised a custom of marrying off the girls in the family to the male cousin. This way, the family property remains in the hands of the men who remain part of the family.
With education and the passage of time, this custom changed and it came to be understood that marriage between cousins is bad for the health of the children. But what I am saying is that the matriarchal system was never intended to safeguard the girl child or the women folk as we have been told to believe.
A Smart Social System That looks Noble From Surface
The over smart social pundits were shrewd enough to work out a system that looked very fair and just to the women in the society whereas what they were doing was to safeguard their own wealth and property related interests.
Here are some statements I have heard when it comes to implementing what the traditional matriarchal system demands
- Matriarchal system cannot be implemented any longer because the laws have changed.
- Social order has changed. Boy and girl are equal. There is no need for the matriarchal system to continue.
Equality between Boys and Girls in a Family
Then I have a question: if the law has changed then why are you still managing the system as if it were existing? If boy and girl are equal, why do you object to a daughter’s or sister’s right to buy, sell or manage her property? Whom are you kidding in the name of matriarchal system? The boy always has the obvious, superior right. I don’t have a problem with that. What I have a problem with is that you portray one thing in the name of a matriarchal system and then you do the opposite and continue to do the opposite!
So funny, it’s almost laughable. If it was real and implemented in the real spirit of the tradition, I’d say, “Hats off!” But I’ve never had an occasion to say it so I really can’t.
Truth is simple, really: You enjoy the benefits of the matriarchal system and look socially respectable to others but in effect, you are providing only for yourself and not for the actual womenfolk for whose welfare it was intended for. System sucks and no one out there has the guts to come right out and say this!
By tying up a family’s property into the ownership of its women, the smart men did themselves a favour than anyone else. They could use the woman’s property as they pleased and be accountable to none, not even the law because in name and therefore
in evidence, it is always the women who are the ‘owners.’
However, there are many families that do conform to this matriarchal system with a sense of justice but those families are very few and I admire them if they are able to do the impossible. This post in no way applies to such families.
The ‘matriarchal’ tag will continue in Kerala as long as there are vested property related interests. I also know that this one blog post will not change anything. But at least one person reading this post may think twice before praising Kerala’s matriarchal system. That’s good enough for me.
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