Skip to main content

Down Under

Some days are terrible to live through. If you ask me, what happened, did something go wrong? I wouldn't know what to say because nothing did go wrong.I did my daily chores with better attention than usual. I cleared a lot of junk that had piled up around me and I managed to do my prayers on time too.

Funny thing is, I just felt very negative and down under today. Out of the blue, some of my life's most depressing moments flashed before my eyes as though I was watching a movie. That made me feel like a total loser because I could clearly see many evident mistakes that I had failed to learn from at that point of time or even afterward. This higher awareness of what I missed seeing clearly brought me down like anything and I can't begin to explain the throbbing headache that resulted in. I felt like a complete nervous wreck by the end of the day. There are so many friends who are a part of my life so I thought of someone I could just call and talk with. The strangest thing was I couldn't think of a single person I wanted to talk with about how I felt. That made me feel worse.

So, what makes me blog about it? Well, I had to get it off my burning head and talk to people who I believe would not judge me as a lunatic. In real life, even well meaning friends may think, oh god, she must have gone nuts. I believe that here, you will trust me and believe me when I say I really needed to say what's made me feel worse today, over and over again.

The worst thing in life is to see through a lot of incidents from your own life and spot the obvious gaps and realize that you had missed a big chunk of the real picture for a long, long time.  And now, it's too late to put the missing pieces back together again.

Comments

Sarah Naveen said…
True!!! i also have days like this..it will be like a biiig chunk on my mind, which i cant identify, but weighs heavy ...and you dont feel like talking to even ur best friend about it...Life !!! I appreciate u write about it so tt i also came to know that its not only me , who has it :)
Renjith Sarada said…
Dear Swapna,

Bygones are bygones! Just think that God has gifted you something which many dont even get to see!

Thank Him for the wonderful things in life and march ahead. I have learnt, the hard way, that there is no way regretting on something which we didnt get, as the same would have made us crazy and lunatic if we were owning it !!!

Wish you all the best.

Keep writing more!
Renjith
Shilpa said…
life is all about forgetting the past and moving on the present.... yes its true we cant forget the past but then we cant allow our present to get worse just because of the past.... It might take time but then slowly we will forget them too... and after all life goes one :)

So njoy and forget those things of the past... life is too short... enjoy every moment of it....
Lavanya Sriram said…
Swapna,
Everybody has ups and downs in life! and everybody cant act the correct way at all times. Then its not life. Hindsight is so much better.
Dont beret yrself too much abt it.
Think abt it, accept it and move on.
It will make you feel a lot btter once you accept it and yrself.
Cheer up !
Thanks, Eswari and Sarah, for sharing your personal thoughts too. It helps to know that I'm not the only one who passes through such moments and that sometimes we all do in different ways and spaces.

Renjith, you are right. There are so many blessings that we tend to overlook and a good way to feel happy is to thank God for each of those blessings that enrich the quality of our life.

Thanks Shilpa, it's true that life is too short for us to spend wallowing in self-pity. After all, there is so little to time to be happy.

Thanks Lavanya. Yes, we all have our ups and downs. It's something I tell myself too. Yes, I am cheering up because all of you have shared your personal thoughts with me.

Thank you so very much, I feel better already.

Thanks
Sh@s said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sh@s said…
Its so true that there are times when no one seems right enough for us to share our deepest thoughts with. Those moments makes us feel so miserable. For me in those moments Blogging becomes a relieving act as it allows me to purge my feelings on my own space. If it generates a positive response its an added joy.

As far as the past is concerned, its best we let it remain in the past. Create new happy "memories" and let them become your new "past".

Cheer up!
Happy Blogging!!!
we all have days like this but tomorrow is a new day lol
Readers Dais said…
Hi! Sapna,
Very true,though we all may have best and dear friends with whom we share our personal matters, our dreams our griefs, when it comes to an inner trauma, where we dont have a substantial reason to worry,but still we are down as u said,then we wont find anyone to share with rather we dont feel confident that so & so person would take it in the right manner and so we keep it within and suffer....there comes this lovely blogspace,where we dont have any inhibitions nor expectations....
hope u are relieved once uve done with this post right :)...
anupama said…
Dear Swapna,
Good Evening!
Every day can't be our day!Right now I want a call,but I know I will not get it as I have blocked it.:(
But I have my own ways to eb cheered!
Well expressed!Good!
You are blessed as you could let them go with words!
Wishing you a wonderful week ahead,
Sasneham,
Anu
Jean said…
I am sure you don't need to be told that there are good days and bad ones, etc etc. You also know how to pull yourself out from the depths.

Instead I'll just share a thought, borrowed from another blogger. "It’s the inevitable fall that follows every climb that gets me…"
It happens.

On bad days, we see the fall after every climb, and on good ones we see the climb after each fall.

Have a terrific day,
@jean_blore
Such warm and wise thoughts from all of you. I don't know whether saying thanks is enough but I do know that it will make you feel happy to know that each one of you shared a piece of your thoughts and values with me in a unique way and that truly made me smile and lifted the clouds away.

I just don't know how to truly thank each of you.

Still. Thank you.
R's Mom said…
hey award awaiting you...cheer up :)
Swathi said…
swpana,

usually some days are like that. But next day cheers up too. Thanks for visiting my blog.

Most Popular Posts

The Ugly Truth about Caste in Kerala

Many years ago, when I wrote this post on Kerala's caste system, I had not considered that people would start sending in abusive comments about one caste over the other. It baffles me that this is how Indians, all of us, continue to judge each other on account of caste differences.  [ READ: Guru Kripa: Powerful Lessons at the Lotus Feet ] My question is - why do you ABUSE any caste or community? I suggest that you read about the lives of great Masters and their stories - none of them judged anyone on the basis of caste.  You can read the life stories of Sri Adi Shankara Bhagawadpada, Tulsidas, Jnaneshwar, Namadev, Sri Aurobindo, Sri Ramakrishna, Swami Paramahansa Yogananda, Shirdi Sai Baba, and many more Gurus in Sanathana Dharma. NONE of them endorse these caste hierarchies in Bhakti Marga. Assuming that Guru Sampradaya does not appeal to your sensibilities, do read this  new book 'Ants among Elephants' written by Sujatha Gidla, who writes about herself as being born

How do you light Deepam at home?

How do you light deepam at home? As a child, I loved watching the ritual of my grandmother lighting the deepam or the traditional lamp at home in the evenings. A sense of serenity accompanied her frail figure as she would carefully straighten every wick, dip it into the tiny puddle of oil and light the lamp. As my grandmother would read out the scriptures and chant the prayers, the fragrance of incense sticks and flowers added depth to the experience. In many Hindu homes nowadays, the lighting of the lamp (or the nilavilakku, as Malayalis refer to the traditional lamp in their homes) is not a regular practice. A lot of people have many questions around how to light deepam at home and which oil to use and so on. An important point to keep in mind - Maintain physical cleanliness and hygiene while lighting the lamp. Wear clean clothes while lighting the lamp. Frequently Asked Questions About Lighting Deepam at Home Collating most queries related to how to light the deepam at home, I'v

Gayatri Mantra as Panchamukhi: Get it right or let it go

Most people do not understand the importance of chanting the Gayatri mantra because they are not aware of its power. It is only when I began to read Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba's teachings that I learned how sacred and powerful the chanting of the Gayatri mantra is.    The Vedas represent the breath of God. The Gayatri mantra is the very basis of the Vedas. Try not to undertake chanting the Gayatri mantra as a light endeavor or as a hobby. It has to be chanted with faith, discipline and purity of mind and body. Be steady with your sadhana if you want to reap the spiritual dividend associated with the Gayatri mantra  and never once hesitate once you decide to do it.  Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba said that the Gayatri Mantra is referred to as Pancha Mukhi, the Goddess with five faces that represent the five pranas or life forces. Here's more on it. .  Also read: The Power of OM   Chant the Gayatri Mantra correctly: Pause Five Times Here are some important thi

Mahamrityunjaya Mantra: Meaning, Benefit of Chanting and Who can Chant the Mantra

Mahadmrityunjaya Mantra: Benefit of chanting this mantra There are very few mantras that are as powerful as the Maha Mrityunjaya Mantra. Do read my post: Does Mahamrityunajaya mantra really work?       Mahamrityunjaya mantra is believed to have the power to remove all sufferings, diseases and bestow the one who chants it with good health and long life.   It is also believed that constant contemplation of the Maha Mrityunjaya Mantra can help spiritual aspirants to overcome the cycle of birth and death. What got me fascinated about this mantra is something personal.  I learned this mantra from my father but it is my maternal grandmother who chanted it all the time and repeatedly told me of its tremendous power to protect. However, I did not chant this mantra regularly.  At the age of two, my son was taught some mantras by my mother who explained what it means to him and he became very enthusiastic about chanting the mantras. Following this, my mother taught him the Maha Mrityun

Saree Woes 2

Our earlier discussion on Saree Woes really perked up my spirits. A big thanks to all of you for pepping me up. Okay, here's the good news. There was an unexpected late night party that I had to attend in Gurgaon. To be honest, I haven't had the time or energy to attend any such parties after Adi was born. I was sure I wouldn't have the confidence to make conversation with the glitterati, let alone feel confident to carry off wearing a saree. This is one of those parties where you have to be dressed very formally. Well, at the end of a working woman's day, you hardly feel ready to attend one of these parties looking like a moron, right? So, with very little preparation and very few hours left, I called on all the gods in Heaven to help me look a little younger and prettier since I don't have the magic to look young all on my own. Although I was tempted to wear one of my awesome Kancheevaram treasures, I knew it would be very difficult to drape it without any h